Debatable thoughts: Ass Hats and peanuts, which are worse?Los Angeles Post-Examiner

Debatable thoughts: Ass Hats and peanuts, which are worse?

Vice Presidential debates are pretty much like the NFL Pro Bowl; a waste of everyone’s time. I love to follow what is going on, but I have to admit, I have never watched a debate between the two future heartbeat away candidates. The Mike and Tim show only served as a chance for networks to break out their minor leaguers and see who might be ready to step up one day and fill the shoes of Wolf Blitzer.

Again, I did not watch the VP debate. I have scrolled past every post on my Facebook page. Still, here is who I think won the debate. Mike Pence. Why? He looks more presidential and he is not named Trump. I have to hand it to Hillary, she managed to find a running mate who will pretty much be happy to serve coffee in the Oval Office and smile the entire time.

Former University of Arizona basketball coach Lute Olson (YouTube)

Former University of Arizona basketball coach
Lute Olson (YouTube)

Am I the only person who thinks Mike Pence looks like Lute Olsen?

There are other things happening in the world besides politics. I would hope no one ever is robbed at gunpoint, but if I had to choose someone, Kim Kardashian would be at the top of my short list. Anyone who keeps ten million dollars in jewelry in their hotel room (okay, suite), deserves to be robbed. They also deserve to be mocked on social media.

Am I the only person who thinks all of this was staged as a way to get even more attention by a family of Ass Hats (I have not used this term in a while and just wanted to)? For those who think Kim is the luckiest Kardashian for escaping this near death experience, you are wrong. The luckiest Kardashian is Robert.

Baseball is an interesting sport. Its season begins at a time in which there is a lull in the sporting world and offers hope to all fans, only to end in the middle of college and professional football which makes it easy to ignore the MLB post season. Maybe they should start the season in October and end it in April.

So Bill Clinton says Obamacare is the craziest thing ever. I don’t know about that. Is it crazier than getting it on with an intern while on the phone with a world leader? Is it crazier than a Trump presidency? Is it crazier than a nation choosing between the two most despised presidential candidates ever?

Presidential candidates (R) Donald Trump and (D) Hillary Clinton (YouTube)

Presidential candidates (R) Donald Trump and (D) Hillary Clinton (YouTube)

Why do we keep spending federal money to clean up and repair places like Louisiana after floods? Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just pay their moving expenses to North Dakota?

At what point is it unhealthy to eat peanuts? They say they are good for you, but can you live off of them? So far, I am doing a pretty good job of testing this theory.

To Hillary: The sitting president of the United States is incredibly popular. So is his wife. So is his VP. All three are campaigning for you. You have the female vote and minority vote all locked up and yet you are only a few percentage points ahead of the biggest douchebag to ever run for president. And you actually wonder why you are not ahead by 50 points in the polls. It’s you, and not a conspiracy.

Philippine President Rodrigo Détente (YouTube)

Philippine President Rodrigo Détente (YouTube)

Rodrigo Duterte is something else. The president of the Philippines has no problem speaking his mind about President Obama. I wonder if he sings a different tune when they get hit with a national disaster?

Did anyone else notice how little was made of Obama’s daughter smoking pot and how much was made when the Bush girls were tearing it up in their youth? Actually, I’d be more worried if my kid didn’t smoke pot or party if I was president.

Arnold Palmer passed away. A great golfer and an even better person. I am not one to want a street, park, or school named after me, but I wouldn’t mind a drink like he had. Of course, mine is already taken; a cold mug of beer with a shot of gin in it, a Skip and Go Naked. I have seen recipes that use vodka with lemonade or other sweet drinks mixed with the beer, but those are Hop, Skip, and Go Naked. I will stick to what I first encountered as a college student in Chico, California in the early 80s. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

The San Diego Padres Swinin’ Friar (Claudia Gestro)

The San Diego Padres Swinin’ Friar
(Claudia Gestro)

Try being a sports fan in San Diego. Their Padres just wrapped up another atrocious season and their Chargers are the biggest gaggers in the NFL. About the only thing they have going for them is they don’t have an NBA team to suck dry what little life they have left in them.

I know the guy wears t-shirts and jeans, but still, he’s a billionaire so when Mark Cuban speaks out in support of any candidate, he’s thinking of his own best interests. Remember, like all other billionaires, he makes his money off of you while limiting the tax hit he takes.

So gun owners are strong conservatives and gun haters are pussy liberals. Liberals are smart college educated people without any common sense while conservatives are self made ignoramuses. It seems to me a smart person would arm himself as a way to protect himself from violence and a stupid person would tell them he feels his attacker’s pain.

Then again, a strong person is able to face the challenges society throws at him without feeling the need to be armed while a weak person would choose to pull a trigger instead of run. In other words, it’s all about how you want to frame the people you are trying to manipulate come voting time.

Alec Baldwin portraying Donald Trump (YouTube)

Alec Baldwin portraying Donald Trump (YouTube)

Alec Baldwin sure gets a lot of props for his mockery of Donald Trump. Anyone else beside me remember how much he sounds like he claims Trump will react in the White House during a crisis? You might want to check this out.

Experts love to remind us that voters vote their wallets. They also point out how critical the millennial vote is. However, don’t you find it strange that millennials don’t use wallets? Just one more thing they have found a way to do without. Perhaps they will also find a way to do without a president.


About the author

James Moore

Jim is a life long resident of California and retired school teacher with 30 years in public education. Jim earned his BA in History from CSU Chico in 1981 and his MA in Education from Azusa Pacific University in 1994. He is also the author of Teaching The Teacher: Lessons Learned From Teaching. Jim considers himself an equal opportunity pain in the ass to any political party, group, or individual who looks to profit off of hypocrisy. When he is not pointing out the conflicting words and actions of our leaders, the NFL commissioner, or humans in general, he can be found riding his bike for hours on end while pondering his next article. Jim recently moved to Camarillo, CA after being convinced to join the witness protection program. Contact the author.
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