Grateful you are my Mother

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Photo provided by Cheryl Gleghorn
Photo provided by Cheryl Gleghorn

First she watched her mother burn to death. Then her father sent her and her brother to an orphanage.  Then her brother died.  Then her father sent her to live with relatives while he went off to start a new family.  She wasn’t invited. And then she turned 10 years old.

This is my mother. She died in 1990 at the age of 69, having outlived her husband by ten years. During the last several years of her life she was alone … all eight of her children were scattered across the United States.

Left behind! She seemed always to be left behind.

Mom and Dad, Carl and Harriet. (Photo provided by Tim Forkes and the Forkes Family Archives)
Mom and Dad, Carl and Harriet.
(Photo provided by Tim Forkes and the Forkes Family Archives)

That must be why it was so hard to get close to her. There was no questioning her love for her family, yet, it was hard to get close. Could it be that as her children grew up they were coming to an age where they could also leave her? Perhaps that was it. Perhaps it was easier for her to distance herself from the ones she loved then to be vulnerable to more hurt and pain. She didn’t know we loved her. I think she didn’t want to know. Perhaps she was simply afraid to trust in love. Love always seemed to abandon her.

Since she’s been gone, it’s easier to get close to her. It’s easier to understand her. It’s easier to love her. How she must have felt growing up. I can imagine her talking to herself … “Nobody wants me.” … “Nobody loves me.”  … “Why doesn’t anybody want me?” … Why doesn’t anybody love me?”

Well, mom … I want you … I love you … I love you very much. I always have and I always will. That will never change. That is why on this Mother’s Day and on many other days, I take the time to sit in my rocking chair, pick you up, put you on my lap, hold you tight and tell you how much you matter. I tell you how much you are loved. I rub your back. I kiss your tears. I hold you. I rock you. I love you.

I am grateful that you are my mom!