Gun advocacy: The humor of it allLos Angeles Post-Examiner

Gun advocacy: The humor of it all

I couldn’t help myself. I know, I should know better, but sometimes I just feel the need to engage people over hot button issues and what better one is there than guns? As a result, I found humor in what some people had to say to me.

“In case you did not know it, the entire Constitution was built around the Second Amendment.”
We all know it is common for everyone to place their most important point second because who can remember your first point? It is also common to build the second story of a two story house before laying the foundation and constructing the first floor.

“You Godless creature. How do you expect to protect yourself from all the violence if there are not any guns?”
There’s a head scratcher. First, we all know Jesus and his 12 disciples packed heat while they traveled the countryside trying to incite violence as a solution to the peaceful world they lived in. I believe it was Christ who first uttered the words, “Go ahead, make my day.” He also is believed to have instructed Judas to “Pop a cap in his ass” when they encountered a doubter.

“You left wingers have no regard for life. We want to arm more people so we can kill these bastards while you want them to live.”
Guns don’t kill, but this kind of logic almost made me die from laughter.

Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students demonstrating for gun control in Florida

“Without the Second Amendment, there is no First Amendment.”
Imagine sitting in a math class and the teacher says, “Without the number two, there is no number one.” Again, this helps explain why many Americans know more about an AR-15 than they know about basic adding and subtracting.

“When has a gun free zone ever made people safer?”
I know, it’s nice to sit and have a coffee in public while you are smack in the middle of some crossfire because no one is taking aim at you. I also find this is a perfect time to meditate.

“If there are not any guns, how do you stop a school shooting?”
More logic that should be used to determine whether or not a person passes a background test. It’s kind of like arguing if there is not any alcohol, how to you stop drunk drivers? Or maybe in this case, if you do not have any hands, how do stop nose picking?

“How do you suggest we stop the genocide that is happening inside this country if you get rid of guns?”
This one made me laugh. He clearly had to have gotten this argument from a reputable source like FOX News, you know, the conservative news network that won’t stop until only white people report the news of the day.

“I bet you change your mind about guns if I blow your brains out.”
Actually, I wouldn’t have a mind to change if this happened.

“Without our guns, who do you think defends freedom of religion in this country?”
Interesting concept. I assume by freedom of religion he means Christianity and nothing else and the requirement of prayer as part of our public school system.

“You do know we are fighting ISIS inside our country. Without guns, we would be living under Sharia law.”
If only this were the case. Maybe then we would not have our military half way around the world fighting ISIS.

“We need guns to protect ourselves. In case you were not aware of it, we are being invaded by Mexico. This is why we need a wall.”
It was at this point I decided it was a good thing I do not own a gun because I think I would have taken my life knowing we let fools like this not only own guns, but to also vote.

I weep for our future.

Photos are YouTube screenshots


About the author

James Moore

Jim is a life long resident of California and retired school teacher with 30 years in public education. Jim earned his BA in History from CSU Chico in 1981 and his MA in Education from Azusa Pacific University in 1994. He is also the author of Teaching The Teacher: Lessons Learned From Teaching. Jim considers himself an equal opportunity pain in the ass to any political party, group, or individual who looks to profit off of hypocrisy. When he is not pointing out the conflicting words and actions of our leaders, the NFL commissioner, or humans in general, he can be found riding his bike for hours on end while pondering his next article. Jim recently moved to Camarillo, CA after being convinced to join the witness protection program. Contact the author.
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