Still cranky after all these yearsLos Angeles Post-Examiner

Still cranky after all these years

What Do You Have To Sell Me

 Recently I have begun an experiment because, frankly, I have too much time on my hands. It involves me automatically deleting any Facebook ad I receive and the company it comes from. It’s a losing battle to think I can eliminate advertising being shoved down my eye sockets, but this is not the purpose of my experiment.

Like many people, I get annoyed when I immediately see ads for things I have gone on line to search for. The ability has been around a while for Facebook to gauge my interests and they know what I am looking at. Still, it seems a bit pointless on their part to send me ads from companies that sell a product I just purchased. If they know I opened a link, you can bet they know whether or not I purchased a product. How many winter pull overs does a guy need? How many bicycles? Dog clippers. The list is endless.

Consequently, I have decided to see just how far Facebook will go to sell me a product I really need to purchase from one of their advertisers. So far, the winner is women’s underwear. To the best of my knowledge, I have never purchased any, nor do I have plans to do so. However, should I change my mind, I now know a few sites that sell them.

Say Cheese

So James Holzhauer is mortal after all. His reign on Jeopardyfinally ended with him just a few bucks shy of the all-time earnings record. Through it all, James hauled in almost $2.5 million, half of which will go to Uncle Sam. What does a professional gambler do with the remaining money? Maybe he will correct his under bite; however, my guess is he keeps it. Let’s face it, if you sit down across from him at a local trivia competition and think to yourself, “This guy looks familiar,” and then he flashes that grin at you, you might as well get up a leave.

Thoughts and Prayers Missing

How do you shut up a conservative? I guess all it takes is a mass shooting. I am not even hearing any thoughts and prayers being offered with the Virginia Beach shooting. It’s enough to make a person think conservatives don’t have a heart.

One man standing against the Chinese tanks that were about to enter Tiananmen Square to end the demonstrations (YouTube screenshot)

The Crackdown Is Here

It’s been 30 years since Tiananmen Square. My, how the world has changed. At the time, our politicians were outraged over the Chinese government crackdown. Today, we have a president, and about 38 to 42 percent of the electorate, who are all in favor of such actions by our government.

Trumpsters would love us to believe our biggest threats are enemies who linger outside our borders. The truth is, the biggest threat to our personal freedoms are born and raised in this nation and fueled by leaders who want us to believe their intense hatred toward anyone and anything different to them falls within their sick interpretation of Christian values. The real problem is, can enough Americans be bothered and outraged enough to take a break from their complacency and vote anyone associated to Trump out of office?

What To Do

Tiger Woods’ former swing coach, Hank Haney, landed in hot water for remarks deemed racist and insensitive when he replied to a question about who he thought would win a recent LPGA event. He basically said it would be a Korean named Lee because aren’t all professional Korean female golfers named Lee? The remark, and subsequent poor apology, were enough to get him suspended from whatever it is he does now, radio, pod casting, streaming, or is it streaking?

Turns out, he was right. A Korean woman with the last name Lee won the event. Not only that, Haney doubled down and pretty much held to the point he claims he was making; most Korean women on the LPGA tour are nameless and faceless people Americans do not know and are named Lee.

Now what? Do you keep a guy suspended for being right or for being from another era where his sort of remarks would have been laughed off on sports radio 20 years ago?

Let’s face it; we are at a crossroads in our culture where what was once generally considered funny is now considered offensive. There is a culture clash between young (snowflakes) and old (dinosaurs) and by the time the Hank Haney’s of the world are extinct, snowflakes will have melted and become the Jurassic jerks of a new society that no longer likes their views on the world. It’s just a matter of time.

YouTube screenshot of the 1958 film “The Blob,” starring Steve McQueen. Probably not the same as Jim’s blob.

Unsolved Medical Mystery

I have a blob. I don’t know what else to call it. On the left side of my body, above my waist and about where a guy’s love handle is located, is, well, a blob. it’s not there on my right side and if I deliberately push out my stomach, it becomes more pronounced. It does not hurt and I have no idea how long it has been there. I only found it because for some strange reason, while standing in front of the mirror with my shirt off, I decided to see how far I could make my stomach stick out (it’s a guy thing).

I showed it to my family doctor and she said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” She then listed off a bunch of possibilities while squeezing, pinching, and pressing on it. She ordered an ultrasound that showed nothing which was another deductible out of my savings.

Then I mentioned it to my chiropractor who, after looking at it, said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” Some more examining of it and theorizing about it, but no answer.

Next I mentioned it in passing while my physical therapist was working on my shoulder one day, or maybe it was my neck, then again, it could have been somewhere else (I am a wreck). She asked to examine it and guess what? “I have never seen anything like this before.”

A few days later, I get a call from a hematologist telling me I need to come in because my recent blood test showed a low white blood cell count. Turns out, he is also an oncologist. “Great. Just what I need now, cancer,” I tell myself.

A few weeks later, I am in his office after getting more blood sucked out of me. He tells me the good news, my white blood cell count was back to normal and I have no reason to be concerned. Then he says he wants to examine this blob, or as he likes to call it, mass, my doctor told him about. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Now it is back to my primary doctor who tells me it may be time to get a CT scan or MRI just to make sure it is nothing. Perhaps a biopsy is in order. Then again, maybe I should join the circus and go on display billed as The Blob and make money off of it rather than forking over co-pay after co-pay to find out it is what the medical field calls a blob.

Gender Equality

According to a report I did not read, no nation will achieve gender equality by the year 2030. While this may disappoint people who feel strongly about this issue, it should not surprise anyone. Mike Pence sits a heartbeat away from the Oval Office. His views on matters concerning women, equal rights, LGBT and any other letters I left out, as well as race, religious freedom, and guns are enough to make Donald Trump look like a left wing nut.

While the east and west coasts media magnets drive the progressive agenda, we forget in between is what is called the heartland of the nation. God, guns, and white bread are still the norm in this region and until that changes, I would not expect any level of equality in this nation.

“Not when women take over and vote every male out,” you say. If you have never traveled to the Midwest and Old South, you might be shocked to find out just how many white women hold to the same values people like Pence hold and embrace a man they believe is indeed, God’s chosen one to lead us back to the right path in this world.

Dad Bod Champ

Andy Ruiz, Jr. in the process of knocking out Anthony Joshua to win the belts.
(YouTube screenshot)

In case you missed it, Andy Ruiz Jr. became the heavy weight champion of boxing with his shocking upset of Anthony Joshua (No fighter with two first names can ever really be a true bad ass). Joshua is known for his stellar physique, but somehow forgot to train his jaws to take a punch. Ruiz Jr. is known for his body as well. Let’s just say his makes the Pillsbury Dough Boy look ripped.

Fighting at 268 pounds of flab on top of flab, Ruiz Jr. shocked the world by stopping the champ in the seventh round. He has now been embraced as the Dad Bod Champ.

Given that I recently made my views clear about “large” women posting photos of themselves in bikinis, I feel the need to add in my archaic two cents worth on Ruiz Jr.

I come from an era where the heavyweight champion was a beast to be feared and not laughed at for his flab. Howard Cosell would point out what a disservice Muhammad Ali was doing to the fight game showing up ten pounds overweight. Imagine if he showed up 50 pounds overweight.

I also came from an era where sports fans made light of major league pitchers and their horrific bodies. Were they athletes or just arms? Today, they are in much better shape than a guy like Ruiz Jr.

He. will be well paid, and deservedly so, for what he did. There may even be a movie someday as he has a compelling story to tell about being the first Mexican to hold the heavyweight title and how he had to claw his way to land this fight after being dumped by Top Rank Boxing for being out of shape.

However, this nation does not need another fat role model. We need people to inspire us to get off the couch and go hit the gym. We need to take the body we are given more seriously and end this fixation that we can live a gluttonous life and become great.

For every Andy Ruiz Jr., there are thousands, maybe millions, of adult men who will eat themselves to an early grave. Any time a person like a Ruiz Jr. wins, we lose more than we will ever gain, unless you count our added pounds as a societal plus.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have my blob to tend to.

 

 

 

 


About the author

James Moore

Jim is a life long resident of California and retired school teacher with 30 years in public education. Jim earned his BA in History from CSU Chico in 1981 and his MA in Education from Azusa Pacific University in 1994. He is also the author of Teaching The Teacher: Lessons Learned From Teaching. Jim considers himself an equal opportunity pain in the ass to any political party, group, or individual who looks to profit off of hypocrisy. When he is not pointing out the conflicting words and actions of our leaders, the NFL commissioner, or humans in general, he can be found riding his bike for hours on end while pondering his next article. Jim recently moved to Camarillo, CA after being convinced to join the witness protection program. Contact the author.
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