Taking Note of a Few Things: The Are You Experienced? Edition

Walker Buehler is hailed a hero for the amazing performance he turned in for the Los Angeles Dodgers in game three against the Mets. He tossed all of four innings. I’m thinking Bob Gibson could crawl out of his grave and do better than that.

For that matter, Walker’s brother, Ferris, could do better.

When your first name is Walker, a career as a MLB pitcher seems unlikely.

A kid from nationally second ranked St. John Bosco High School started at quarterback for their first six games this season before transferring to Kahuku High School, another powerhouse, in Hawaii, where he is now that team’s starting quarterback. Just what the world needs; another kid raised to think his shit doesn’t stink.

Back in the day, I remember our high school cheerleaders doing their thing to the tune, Be True to Your School. I doubt that is played anymore. In its place is probably, Go Screw Over Your School.

I’ve known more middle school and high school coaches who stopped doing what they loved because of parents. You can also add cheerleader advisors to that list. Hell, most of the administrators I knew over the second half of my career dreamed of a job up at the district office just so they could get away from kids and their parents.

WNBA players whine a lot and it is usually about how they are not paid the same as NBA players. They forget that they play half as many regular season games to smaller crowds and fewer television viewers. There is also just one player, Caitlyn Clark, who has a large national appeal that crosses over to male fans.

There is one other issue WNBA players might want to end to attract a larger male audience. Enough with the childish high school drama. You are supposed to be professionals trying to grow a sport but act like teenage brats. If you want to be paid like men, consider acting like them and just go about your business and handle your crap privately before holding out for more money.

Unless your name is Aaron Rogers. The New York Jets quarterback is never going to be missed by anyone when he retires. He has no respect for coaches, throws his teammates under the bus, and is merely tolerated because everyone around him thinks he will lead them to a championship (something he has only managed once in his long career). Instead of the Super Bowl, Rogers is leading his team down the toilet bowl. Of course, just listen to him and you will learn none of it is his fault.

Sports has lost its appeal to me, and it is primarily because of money. For what fans get back in return for their investment into sports today, it’s a huge loss for them. Professional, college, and high school athletics have outgrown their intent and have just morphed into other forms of corporate machines driven by profit margins and nothing else.

You have not experienced a ballgame until you hop on a BART train with your 13 year old buddies and get dropped off outside of right field and buy a bleacher seat to watch the A’s play. Imagine sitting next to your 12 year old brother when you are just ten and watching the infamous Heidi game while your parents sit on the other side of the stadium and not having to worry about your safety. Try waving a gold towel in support of the Pittsburgh Steelers while surrounded by rabid Raider fans during a playoff game at the Oakland Coliseum and no one giving you grief. Enjoy listening to Lon Simmons or Bill King call the game through an earpiece plugged into your transistor radio rather than stare at a jumbotron.

Everything changes, but sports has not changed for the better. Tickets, parking, and food prices make going to games unaffordable for most families. Even watching games in the comfort of your home has become too expensive for most. Owners will even say it is no longer about the game, but the experience. The experience is expensive and the return on the investment is zip.

Not to pick on only athletics, the same can be said about concerts, music festivals, and music artists in general. They are no different than professional athletes today and have no problem bullshitting you out of your money. If you think a Taylor Swift concert, or any other musician for that matter, beats what we got for a ten dollar ticket to a Day on the Green, you have no idea what the term experience means.

The more we have tried creating a world where no one should have a bad experience, the more mental health issues we end up with.  Imagine attending a San Francisco Giants game knowing there was that one old Japanese-American fan roaming Candlestick Park screaming in Japanese and smacking the back of the uncomfortable seats we sat in with his walking cane. There were never any parents to be found because we were dropped off outside the stadium and left on our own for three hours.

Today, if you do not leave a ballpark looking more like a team mascot after all the merchandise you were lured into buying, it is only because you arrived looking that way. It’s a ballgame and not Halloween.

Speaking of Halloween, other than my three year old neighbor, Jack, no one on my street will be receiving any candy from me. Of course, no one is expected to be out trick or treating primarily because of the homeless encampment around the corner from my place.

When I was a college student in Chico, Halloween was often a week-long affair. When it fell during the middle of the week, the partying and costume fun began the weekend before and did not let up until the weekend after. Of course, those were the days when Chico State was rated the top party school in the nation.

I recently came across an article ranking the top party schools in the nation and Chico State was nowhere to be found. Like everything else, major universities have taken over the rankings. What happened to studious people attending real universities for an education while the rest of us went searching for ourselves while getting our drunk on at Chico State?

Colleges are no different than professional sports franchises. Now, besides offering an education, they sell students and parents on an experience. It might be the reason why more employers are not seeking young grads to work for them. It seems instead of jobs, college grads expect an experience that pays them a lot of money.

Does anyone attend the school of hard knocks or has that been replaced by a safe space and happy experience in mom and dad’s basement?

If he were alive, I doubt Jimi Hendrix would ask if we are experienced. It’s more like Are You Coddled?

I am not kidding when I tell you a high school counselor once came to me to inform me she would be walking a particular student of mine to class and sitting with her from time-to-time. I asked her how long she would be doing this and she told me for the remainder of the year. It was October.

When I phoned the mother of an eighth grade boy who I sent to the office because he decided to sit in class with his pants down around his ankles, she told me he was just freely expressing himself. I told her the next time he decided to do so, I would suspend him from class for two days as my way of freely expressing myself.

A school principal once asked me not to suspend kids from class for two days because it disrupted the office environment. I asked if it would be less disruptive if I just took two days off from work.

When you teach, you learn fast that your experience is the only one that does not matter. Kids should not be held accountable. Parents should not be inconvenienced. Administrators should not have to leave their office. They all have a right to be coddled at a teacher’s expense. And folks wonder why there is such a horrific teacher shortage.

I saw a therapist when I lived in Hemet who told me that 90% of his practice consisted of teachers and cops. When I moved to Camarillo, I found a new therapist and she said the same thing. She was a former homicide detective.

People who say to a teacher or police officer, “I could never do what you do,” or “They don’t pay you enough,” might think they are complimenting the person, but we find it terribly disrespectful. If you vote to pass a bond for better school facilities or more prisons, but not better pay, then shut up.

I can’t even go to the doctor without it having to be an experience. Besides all the damn reminders of my upcoming appointments, now I have surveys in which I am asked, “How was your experience?” It was not an experience unless a doctor inserted a finger up my backside, and in that case, it was an unwanted one. And why am I sent four text messages reminding me of my appointment and then asked later about my experience? Appointments and experiences are not the same.

Even when I pick up a prescription from CVS, I receive an email asking about my experience. If I have an experience at CVS, it is only because I opened up some of their sex toys while waiting in line for my meds.

If you want an experience, go make an appointment for Ketamine. It has a way of resetting my brain, what’s left of it.

This time of year has resulted in the angle of the earth to the sun being such that the sun’s rays do not hit my backyard until after eleven in the morning. It also results in my head hitting my pillow around seven each evening.

Bug had a terrifying experience this morning. We were out walking when he suddenly tried to take off running for his dear life. I had a firm grip on his leash, but he was trying with all his might to run for safety. He was being chased by an animal, the likes of which he had never before seen and one that was nearly as large as him. It was gaining rapidly, and Bug was full of fear. He wanted nothing to do with it while all I could do was laugh hysterically. The beast in question was a leaf the breeze was blowing along the sidewalk.

At this point, I can’t imagine anyone not knowing who they intend to vote for. I can, however, see thousands preparing to leave town election day to avoid the aftermath.

It was four years ago on election day when I was walking my dog Peanut. Suddenly, it was time for him to do his business and I marveled as he squatted up against a Trump/Pence sign in someone’s front yard to cast his vote. This morning, Bug cast an early ballot in the same manner next to a Trump/Vance sign. If history holds true, my dogs will call every election by shitting on the loser. It’s as accurate as any other poll.

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Editor’s Note: The Los Angeles Dodgers begin the 2024 World Series tonight at Dodger Stadium against the American League’s New York Yankees. This classic matchup is even more poignant as the Dodgers Nation mourns the loss of former Dodgers ace Spanish language announcer Fernando Valenzuela.