February Letters: A new president, another impeachment, vaccines and Tom Brady again!

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Top illustration by Tim Forkes

Letters to Jim: February 2021

Oh, boy, this new year is so different than a year ago. It’s like last year never happened. Okay, maybe I am not altogether honest with my assessment of the new year. The fact is, we still have a lot of the same old crap from a year ago, but there is a new guy calling the shots. As for me, my fan mail choices this month is just a small sampling of what is on the minds of my readers (I just stretched the truth again).

Dear Jim,
A new year. A new president. Still, it seems like there is a huge mess to clean up from last year. When will we ever see better days? Thanks.
Needing Hope

Dear Needing,

You need patience and not hope. As a child, it was common for adults to tell kids that good things come to those who wait. Now that we are grown and old, we have zero patience. I remember it took me forever to clean the huge mess known as my bedroom before going outside to play. I used to think it was pointless because one; by the time I was finished, it would be too late to play, and two; it was just going to be a train wreck the following day and need cleaning again. It’s sort of what has become of our country.

Four years of Trump was like being on a bender. It takes a while to get clean and sober and a ton of work to remain that way, or so I am told. We, meaning the entire country, have a lot of work to do to clean up the mess we all helped create. “It’s not going to clean itself,” another bit of sound advice we used to get.

The good news is, if we live long enough, studies show we tend to remember the good things from our past more than the bad which is why the GOP always wants to take us backward and make us fear what lies ahead while Democrats want to move forward with the work that needs doing.

Dear Jim,
What are your thoughts about the people who attacked the capitol on January 6th? Do you blame Trump for their actions? Who should be punished over it?

Dear Angry,

Let’s face it, this was an act of domestic terrorism and proves we need to be more concerned about more acts like this than we need to be worried about foreign terrorists. If what happened had been a BLM protests, it would have been handled much differently and with more carnage.

Yes, Trump encouraged the attack and others like them. He is guilty of fanning the flames and should be held accountable, not by Congress, but by the justice department. I think over the coming months we will learn more about how poorly this was handled by law enforcement, how the goal was to capture Pence and Pelosi, and how elected leaders like Ted Cruz and others played a role in this. Expecting a divided bunch of elected ass hats to punish their own is pointless. Again, this should all be a matter for the justice department to sort out and arrests should be made from the top down. However, like most things, it will begin at the bottom and never get close to the top as far as who the real culprits were.

Dear Jim,
It has only been a couple of weeks, but what stands out the most about our new administration? Thanks.
Political Fan

Dear PF,

Let’s see, there is the normalcy of an administration that takes its responsibility seriously that stands out. Biden expects his team to do a businesslike job and has no room for the sort of drama that was already playing out under that orange-colored guy.

There is also the qualification factor. Biden, for some strange reason, believes people should be qualified for the task they are given and not some ass kissing yes man/woman who has sold their soul to the devil.

Let’s not forget the diversity factor either. His team is representative of the American fabric and does not look like the membership of a midwestern megachurch.

I like what I am seeing so far.

Dear Jim,
Have you any thoughts on the current impeachment of Trump? Does it even matter if he is impeached if there is no chance of a guilty verdict? How do you think Trump’s action following his loss in November will be handled? Thank you.
A Seeker of Justice

Dear Seeker,

Like the last impeachment, this is more for show than results. At this time, it does not appear the GOP will convict Trump, mainly because if they do, those who turn against him will have to face a challenge from within their own party the next time they run for re-election. With money hard to come by for the GOP, who wants to raise what is needed to face a challenge from within your own party just to need more to defeat a well-funded Democratic challenger?

As I said earlier, all of this is best handled by the justice department. Don’t hold your breath to see much happen because doing so will just stir up the same old BS we just ridded ourselves from. Old Joe wants to show the nation how well we can function when we move forward and solve problems instead of going around kicking the hornet’s nest.

Dear Jim,
Should we be concerned about QAnon? How can any sane person buy into their beliefs or politics?

Dear Puzzled,

At first, I thought QAnon was one of those annoying groups built on a pyramid scheme that sells us a bunch of worthless products. If you join and can find 500 others to join with you, you move up to the next rung. Eventually, when you have 50,000 members under you, you get to attend their annual convention for free and be eligible to drive around town in a pink Cadillac.

Then I read up about them and realized these folks are not just annoying, they are about as loco as you can get without being locked up in a mental health facility.  As it turns out, people in the 70’s who ate mushrooms in forests and claimed they were abducted by aliens, probed, and forced to give birth to their kin ended up raising those babies. Those babies are now adults and they make up QAnon members.

Fortunately, they think everything we see as normal is part of a gigantic conspiracy. Part of that conspiracy is something we call COVID. Either we are all wrong or because they are half alien, they have a built-in immunity to the virus and as such do not need to wear a mask in public. If they are indeed half alien and immune, they are also bullet proof so when a civil war breaks out, they will defeat any opposing army and kill off mere mortals. If, however, they are just a bunch of bat crazed lunatics, they will run afoul of the law, contract COVID and die, or hitch a ride on the mothership and move onto another planet.

Until then, try adding QAnon to your list of groups you don’t open your door to when they show up unannounced.

Dear Jim,
Is there another state in the union with two worse humans as their senators than the state of Kentucky?
Down On The Farm

Dear DOTF,

No.  However, I say this only because I have no idea who the other senator from Texas is who is not named Ted Cruz.  Look, Kentucky is not the most forward-thinking state. However, they have found a way to elect two of the more influential senators in the nation. Mitch McConnell has a well-documented history of knowing how to play the game of thrones as well as anyone. Given he is about 104 years old, I am guessing he has two or three more terms in power (Kentucky won’t certify him as dead for at least a decade after he dies so he can run for office one or two more times).

Rand Paul is a different beast. First, who names their kind Rand?  He should be named Paul Rand. It is no wonder his neighbor beat the crap out of him a couple years ago. I am guessing with the name Rand, he grew up wishing his pop named him Sue.  Poor old Rand not only has to live under the shadow of Mitch McConnell, he also must live under the shadow of his father, the former maverick senator Ron Paul.

My suggestion to you, if you live in Kentucky and can’t stand either one, is to move to a more open-minded state where the people there are able to embrace diversity and compassion. I will leave it to you to figure out where that state is, but you can cross off any state that voted for Trump last year.

Dear Jim,
Tom Brady is back in the Super Bowl. So are the Kansas City Chiefs. Any predictions on the outcome?
Big Sports Fan

Who is betting against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and QB Tom Brady?
(Claudia Gestro)

Hats off, or is it helmets off, to old Tom and his earning a tenth trip to the Super Bowl. To get there, he first had to leave New England. Then he had to beat both Drew Brees and Aaron Rogers in the playoffs.  Now he has a chance at another title with a team that is far more loaded on offense than most of the Patriot teams he played on.

Unfortunately, he must go up against the defending champion Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes. The game has the potential to be a high scoring affair.

That said, I am a believer in defenses win championships. Given the Chiefs have lost both of their starting offensive tackles and Mahomes has a turf toe, he could face a relentless pass rush that makes his life miserable.  However, Mahomes has a stronger arm than Brady, and turf toe or not, he is still more mobile.  Brady is not likely to toss three interceptions like he did against the Packers and has a solid ground game that can tire out any defensive front. The Chiefs will be a threat to score on any given play with their speed so the Bucs will need to bring their A game with their pass coverage.

I think special teams favors the defending champions and the coaching is dead even.

When it is all said and done, I think it comes down to the officiating crew and given there will be a female official on the field for the first time, we have to question does she lean more toward Tom Terrific or Patrick Perfect?

In the end, it turns out I must work that day and I have not wretched a game all year so I will wait until after the game to tell you who I think will win.  Enjoy it.

Until next month, be healthy and wear two masks. In fact, wear two of everything.  It will help keep people more than six feet away from you.