Post Election News: Thoughts about mostly nothing

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I was as sick as anyone of the constant round the clock coverage of the 2016 election. If there is one thing I learned, nations that rely on a parliamentary system of government are far kinder to voters because in many cases, only six weeks pass between when national elections are called and then held. Seems like this last election took six years.

Now that I have decompressed from the election result, I finally took it upon myself to check what is now being called news by the media and I am realizing the 2016 election wasn’t so bad, after all.

Standing Rock is a far more inclusive movement than anything we have seen in decades. The people protesting are not a bunch of whiny post college students camped outside of Wall Street or pissed off blacks from an inner city. These are people of all races, ages, and backgrounds demanding our government stop the pipeline construction while President Obama seems to just hope he can pass this problem onto Trump. Some of us may not think so, but December 5th could be our Tiananmen Square moment. The rest of the world will be watching to see how our government responds when protesters refuse to move to the government’s designated protest area. *

HGTV Fixer Upper finds itself embroiled in a controversy about nothing. It seems we are okay with flag burners but God help us if a conservative Christian couple from Texas attend a church run by someone who opposes gay marriage. Is there any other kind of church in Texas to attend? I’m guessing half the congregation is also packing heat when they show up on Sunday so it might not be wise to protest outside the church.

The Democratic National Convention at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA (YouTube)
The Democratic National Convention at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA (YouTube)

So Hillary supporters were fine with her winning more delegates in states where she lost the popular vote when running against Bernie Sanders, but not okay with Donald Trump winning the Electoral College vote despite getting fewer popular votes than Mrs. Clinton. Am I the only one who smells the type of Clinton hypocrisy that caused her to lose the election despite having the support of a very popular sitting president and ten times more money to spend on her campaign? Clinton is not the victim of an unfair process nearly as much as she is the end result of being unable to connect with the average voter.

Gun Sales soar to new records whenever Democrats appear to threaten gun owners’ sacred Second Amendment rights. I understand why this happens, especially when you add the unusually high level of paranoia gun nuts suffer from. However, when they hit new records among liberal minorities because their anti-gun Democratic Party failed to win what should have been a slam-dunk election, I worry. Do people ever think whether or not what they claim to believe matches their actions?

Donald Trump is appointing racists to his cabinet and creating diplomatic controversies by doing things like calling the leader of Taiwan, all before he is sworn into office. How soon before he declares war on another country? My guess is it happens sometime between Christmas and the New Year. **

Football cleats. I can’t figure out why so many players insist on wearing cleats with some kind of cause, personal message, or stupid comic book hero painted on them. Don’t these players understand no one can tell what they are wearing on their feet? Oh, that’s right, they play in the NFL where it helps to suffer from brain damage.

Kanye West has a melt down and ends up in the hospital and we get hourly updates? Why is this even covered by the media? This is what is called news once the election is over and the media wonders why we hold them in such low regard.

Once again, four college football teams will be selected to play in the college football playoff while a slew others will claim they deserved to be in the group of four. It seems to me these teams should celebrate not being selected. Now they will have more time to devote to their free college education, you know, the same one the rest of the student body spends their adult life paying off.

Tiger Woods has made his long awaited return to golf and suddenly people are interested in the sport again. I’m sure the PGA thinks this is all a coincidence. As badly as they need a healthy Tiger for their ratings, Tiger needs golf. It’s been his life since he was six and now that he feels healthy again, he wants to take back what he feels is his; the recognition of being the master at a sport none of us regulars will ever master.

Black Friday came and went. So did Cyber Monday. Can we now have Gift Wrap Wednesday, a day no one works and instead just stays home wrapping all the crap they purchased on credit before our kids and friends return them for gift cards?

I have to confess, yesterday,I watched a Khloe Kardashian exercise video on Facebook, all 1:58 of it. That’s one minute and fifty-eight seconds, which coincidentally is about the same amount of time she can be on screen without downing a shot. It’s also about the same amount of time it took me to question whether or not I made the right decision to retire when I did. ***

I realize I have managed to go from Standing Rock to Khloe Kardashian in just a few short minutes. I also realize, in this span of time, I might not make it to see the New Year without going bat shit crazy. Fortunately, all my meds have been refilled and I live in Southern California where all of this is considered normal behavior.

Hey Santa, you wouldn’t happen to need a new helper for next year, would ya?

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James Harden (Claudia Gestro)
James Harden (Claudia Gestro)

UPDATE: * The Army Corps of Engineers has temporarily halted the Dakota Access Pipeline, saying they need to find alternative routes.

** It’s already being reported that China is taking this very seriously and Donald Trump is responding with his usual bombastic and idiotic Twitter storm.

*** Houston Rockets fans — and sports fans in general — can sleep easy tonight because it’s been reported Rockets shooting guard James Harden has broken up with Khloe Kardashian.

Top photo: Screen shot of Khloe Kardashian
work out video on Facebook