Warped Speed AheadLos Angeles Post-Examiner

Warped Speed Ahead

I don’t know.

Did He avert World War 3 or hasten its arrival?

Did He piss on a hornet’s nest or in the collective pants of the free world?

Did he take out Qasem Soleimani in the real world, – after watching Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan take out a fictional Mousa bin Suleiman on Amazon Prime?

The name sounds the same. Especially being up all night watching Fox News and cartoons.

Isn’t that what He does with His time?

We know He has Twitter.

At least He has apps on His phone, unlike Bernie.

At these gatherings, He then rallies of boasting and gloating, shouldn’t there be a mosh pit for the Skinheads, the suits and the so-called deplorables?

A mosh pit right in front of the stage.

As the drum beats of war, endless war drone on and on.

They’ve been making ‘Merica great for some time now.

I went to see Rush speak years ago when he was first starting out. At first, I thought it was comedic, his angry banter on the radio. Kind of a Max Headroom with no head room. And were those people that called in, were they staged? Poking fun, much like a mad Mad magazine or some other sordid satire. Parodies of songs with clever lyrics and then those long-winded sardonic diatribes. And nicotine stained hyperbole. His gathering, looking back now, it, not unlike a scene from the Handmaid’s Tale. With limited commercial interruption. The plodding tedium, the pretentious plotting and their calculated overthrow on the horizon.

But it wasn’t necessary. Not at all. It all went according to plan, by His will.

There’s an app for His total control. Take a look. You’re being monitored.

It’s right under “Emergency Alert Settings.”

On your phone, probably even Bernie’s. If he doesn’t just have a flip phone.

It’s grayed out.

It cannot be undone.

“Presidential. An emergency presidential alert: Always displayed.” The box remains forever checked.

They wouldn’t even do that for Nixon. He wanted the ability to speak to the public and wanted to be able to turn your TV on at any time and tell you what was going on. In the event of an emergency. It was thought to be too Orwellian.

Now decades later, who the hell is Orwell?

Did you get the test? Not everyone did. I guess I’m a Cylon. I was summoned while others I know were not. And was it a test? Or did it activate something else?

Yesterday, Canadians got a message talking about a nuclear emergency at a power plant – just outside of Toronto. Later another message was sent to everyone’s saying it was just a mistake. What? The leak or the message saying it was a leak?

Or was it a mistake to say it was a mistake?

What about those mistakes? We have self-driving cars, airliners that have autopilot that cannot be disengaged. Vehicles careening out of control, planes falling out of the skies.

Or is someone or something else in control?

They mistake a commercial 737 for an incoming missile and 170 Civilian lives are lost? Is it less OK when they are civilians? And we pulled out of that so called ill-gotten nuclear treaty with them and everyone else? So, they can pursue their ambitions? Everyone wants a bomb? They get trigger happy and the Middle East is atomized?

Oops.

Plan T from Another Space.

It takes the spotlight off His Impeachment, the continent of Australia burning up, South America and Africa devastated also by fire, Puerto Rico again, the upcoming election. Etcetera, etcetera. Nearly lost is His killing the 50-year-old National Environmental Policy Act, the means by which every major Federal project such as roadways, highways, railways, airports are reviewed before taking off.

And spaceports?

Won’t environmental concerns stand in the way of spaceports?

We need spaceports don’t we for Space Force?

Hypersonic missiles, particle beam weapons. What about a good old-fashioned Death Star?

We have to move warp speed ahead on this to stay ahead, ahead of the game.

And are we really ahead? Or just told we are.

Reboot. It’s all in the game.


About the author

Jeff Worman

Jeff Worman lives in Walworth County, Wisconsin where there is water and a crisp, cool night sky conducive to the creative process. He has been drawing and writing since he was able to hold a pencil in his hand. Worman started out as a high school intern at the Bugle-American, an alternative newspaper in Milwaukee, and was a founder and long standing contributor to the Crazy Shepherd which emerged from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and is published currently as the Shepherd Express. Worman’s column The Hourly Why was conceived in 1982, published broadly in underground newspapers over the decades and can be found online today at www.thehourlywhy.com. He also channels his signature character Deke Marler who hosts Music Time USNA (United States of North America), a radio show from the future, spinning ads for hovercrafts and brain implants, traffic reports between earth and sister colonies, with interstellar news and weather. Blues jams with musicians from his neck of the woods feature Worman on the harmonica and, on occasion, his parodying lyrics. In addition to cartooning, illustrating and reporting, Worman serves as secretary of Kettle Moraine Community Broadcasting, which is home to WFAQ-LP-FM, 101.3 Mukwonago and wfaq.com. He has a great love of the outdoors and champions charities by riding those long distance centuries on his road bike to raise funds. Contact the author.
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