October is for fisting ... err festing or getting in and out of a devil’s triangleLos Angeles Post-Examiner

October is for festing or getting in and out of a devil’s triangle

Been a crazy month and it seems to have had an impact on all my fans. Here is just a small sampling of the mail I received and my replies. Please keep the letters and emails coming. I love hearing from you.

Dear Jim,

Runners in the Leipzig Marathon.
(Anna Hammer-Flickr)

I find it a bit annoying to see young people working out in the gym or going for a run with ear buds in and music playing. Am I the only guy out there who foregoes music when they work out? Thanks. Jim

Well, Jim, I have to say I agree with you for the most part. I do enjoy music when I am on my stationary bike or elliptical at home. However, I am old school and lean toward CD’s and something called FM radio and I listen to it without ear buds or head phones just so I can annoy my neighbors.

However, I also enjoy thinking so when I run or go for a two plus hour bike ride, I never listen to music. Mostly, I just think about stuff that boggles my mind. For instance, today, I found myself wondering why not just make mattresses square? This way, you never have to think about putting the mattress cover on correctly.

Another thought I had was coming to the conclusion supplements that boost your memory are a sham. Anyone who really needs them won’t remember to take them or where they left them. If you order them on line, they will never be sent because the makers will assume you forgot about ordering them. If you call and ask why they have not arrived, they will just tell you their records show you signed off on them being delivered. It seems pointless.

Jim,

Associate Supreme Court Justice
Brett Kavanaugh (YouTube)

I read your recent piece about Judge Kavanaugh. I can see why you blamed Republicans, but you also point the finger at Democrats. Why are they at fault? Jim

Mainly because they chose to run the most hated woman in America against a douche bag like Trump. Perhaps if they had realized this is still a white man’s world, or at least nation, they would have wised up and gone with a  man with the skills and qualifications to out Trump Mr. Trump. I am of course talking about any of the late night talk show hosts, except for that funny guy with the British accent. The last thing we needed was another foreigner in charge of the nation after that guy from Kenya.

Hi Jim,

I was hoping you could help me decide whether or not to get a flu shot this year. It seems like every year is supposed to be the worst flu season ever, just like every winter is supposed to be the harshest. In the end, it never seems as bad as predicted. Jim

I look at it this way: If you don’t mind throwing up at the same time you are crapping your brains out while running a fever, forget the flu shot. If you have in-laws set to come over for the holidays and you want to avoid them, forget the flu shot. If you can afford to miss work and want to stay home in bed and watch TV while puking, forget the flu shot. However, if you enjoy free ice cream, go to Rite Aid and get a flu shot. They are offering a free scoop of ice cream to those who do.

Dear Jim,

Ever been involved in a Devil’s Triangle? Jim

I am still trying to figure out exactly what that is. At first, I thought it was an Algebra equation, but was then told it was a drinking game. In that case, I think I was in one while in college, but then I was too drunk to remember even though I never drank to excess.

Then I was told it involved a threesome. I thought long and hard about that one. I have been involved in lots of foursomes, but never enjoyed it as much as a traditional twosome. It just takes too long to play 18 holes when you are with three other hackers. I am sure somewhere in my past I was involved in a threesome, but if you are suggesting you were once part of one with me, I think you are mistaken.

Dear Jim,

Now that October is here, any plans to attend an October Fest? Jim

Hacker Pschorr Oktoberfest Girl
(Wikipedia)

Nope. Don’t get me wrong, I think getting together with friends to celebrate whatever is celebrated in an October Fest is great, but I am not a fan of lederhosen and I sure as hell have better things to do than listen to polka music. Besides, I am busy this month with my new three CD set from Lindsey Buckingham. No polka tunes, just great music.

Dear Jim,

How is life now that you wear hearing aids? Have they helped much? Jim

Sure, when I remember them. Unfortunately, those damn memory pills I take have not worked yet so half the time I forget to put them in and use them. When I do, I find most of the stuff people have to talk about bores the hell out of me. If only I knew how to text like a teen. I would rely on my cell phone for all my communicating, that is if I can remember where I put it. What was the question you asked?

Until next month, just remember the days are not getting shorter. They are still 24 hours long each and every day. However, as each day passes, your life grows a little shorter and that should be what bothers you.

 

 

 


About the author

James Moore

Jim is a life long resident of California and retired school teacher with 30 years in public education. Jim earned his BA in History from CSU Chico in 1981 and his MA in Education from Azusa Pacific University in 1994. He is also the author of Teaching The Teacher: Lessons Learned From Teaching. Jim considers himself an equal opportunity pain in the ass to any political party, group, or individual who looks to profit off of hypocrisy. When he is not pointing out the conflicting words and actions of our leaders, the NFL commissioner, or humans in general, he can be found riding his bike for hours on end while pondering his next article. Jim recently moved to Camarillo, CA after being convinced to join the witness protection program. Contact the author.
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