America the Beautiful
America is a beautiful place, isn’t it?
What’s more appropriate than the 2028 Summer Olympics being organized under the leadership of a man connected to the Epstein files? Casey Wasserman seems like the perfect person to turn these games into a showcase of all things that reflect Trump’s America.
I can see the Olympic caldron being lit during the opening ceremonies. A line of ICE agents man handing one person of color after another and tossing them into a giant caldron while Trump’s cabinet encircles it and pours gasoline on men, women, and children denied their rights. Then a sleeping Trump farts and ignites a fuse that lights the fire while little JD Vance yells, “The flame, the flame!”
Olympic athletes will be piggy backed around the LA Coliseum Track on the backs of all the democrats who won the 2026 midterms but are turned into political prisoners when our Supreme Court agrees with Trump that the election was rigged.
Pope Eric will provide an Olympic prayer while reminding the Coliseum crowd they have his daddy to thank for the games and preserving Christianity for the world. A white bearded Jesus who greatly resembles Donald Trump, Junior rises to remind us all how important it is to honor thy god by taxing the poor, shooting people of color, and giving away our underaged daughters to billionaires who come calling.
Finally, a spotlight shines on a gigantic cross. From one side the largest American flag is draped showing off our new Red and White stripes with a black circle in the middle and a large MAGA hat pinned to it. On the other side, hangs a massive map of the New USA stretching from Venezuela all the way north through what was once Canada and eastward to include the new state of Greenland.
Fireworks fill the night sky and can be seen as far away as the Gulf of America while Up With People sing “Born in The USA”. I’m telling you, it’s going to be HUGE and all of Trump’s detractors will have tears in their eyes, not from the spectacle but from the tear gas fired into their crowds.
The first event of the 2028 games is the new Tear Gas Canister Toss where masked competitors launch tear gas into crowds of ANTIFA demonstrators and accrue points based on the number of people they force to run for safety while dodging rubber bullets.
Another new event is the Border Patrol Marathon where competitors enter Los Angeles illegally and are chased over a 26.2 mile course only to be gunned down by agents just as they cross the finish line.
There is also the Ice Ice Baby Put where black clad competitors in masks see who can toss an eight pound baby of color into the back of awaiting trucks who will send them to be raised as a future generation of day laborers.
Kristi Noem is expected to be the favorite in the always exciting Dog Shooting event while JFK Jr. teams up with Pete Hegseth in the Shirtless Pullups where teams of two compete while wearing blue jeans.
Unlike previous Olympic games where hundreds of thousands of free condoms are made available to competitors at the Olympic Village, the 2028 games will be prophylactic free in the hopes that our white athletes create a new master race.
Female gold medal winners will move on to compete in the Olympic Bachelor event where each gets a turn at dating Baron Trump and having an STD named after them.
Our underperforming female athletes will move on to face a choice of changing Daddy Donald’s diapers, being sold to Vladimir Putin, or spending life in a South American prison.
On the men’s side, gold medal winners will be rewarded with a high ranking position in either the FBI, CIA, ICE, or any other organization that goes by three letters and denies citizens of their basic rights. As for silver and bronze medal winners, we all know Americans only know how to win Gold and when they don’t, it’s because the event was rigged.
Pam Bondi and Kash Patel will serve as the television hosts as the games are broadcast on FOX News Network. Every evening, their show will feature the Melania Minute where our First Lady coldly glares into our living rooms while Lee Greenwood can be heard singing “God Bless The USA.”
Am I the only person who finds four Trump years equals twenty-eight human years?
Jim is a life long resident of California and retired school teacher with 30 years in public education. Jim earned his BA in History from CSU Chico in 1981 and his MA in Education from Azusa Pacific University in 1994. He is also the author of Teaching The Teacher: Lessons Learned From Teaching. Jim considers himself an equal opportunity pain in the ass to any political party, group, or individual who looks to profit off of hypocrisy. When he is not pointing out the conflicting words and actions of our leaders, the NFL commissioner, or humans in general, he can be found riding his bike for hours on end while pondering his next article. Jim recently moved to Camarillo, CA after being convinced to join the witness protection program.