Brexit breeds personal regrets

Now that many of Britain’s citizens are regretting either voting to exit the EU or just not voting at all, I have been thinking about some of my regrets in life and wondering what a do over might have resulted in.

Purchasing A Raft: When I was 21, I purchased a raft with my pal Dennis. We were convinced we were going to master the art of white water rafting and thought the best place to learn was on the then Stanislaus River which was in the process of being dammed up for a much needed reservoir. Our first trip was a dud. The stage three rapids of August were nothing much more than good ripples and we ended up having to take turns swimming and tugging the raft across the lower portion of the lake, which was already being dammed up.

The next year, in early June and with the river running at more than twice it’s normal level while being a balmy 41°f, we nearly lost our lives. Thanks to a couple of kayakers and then two professional rafters, we learned just how stupid we really were.

While it makes for a fun story to share now and then, the truth is, I could have done without it. No one should have to think they are about to die in water so cold you are not sure you are drowning or choking on your nuts.

Pioneer Days: Ah, the good old days at Chico State when there were plenty of women and few social diseases. There was also plenty of drinking to do which was pretty much what many of us did during its annual Pioneer Days celebration.

What I wish I had never done was consume the four 32 ounce Coors bottles I had intended to consume over the course of a few hours (I know, even that is a bit too much for most college students), but the fact I was running late to a pre-concert party and ended up drinking it all in about a 45 minute period is something I still regret.

To my credit, I held it all in. However, I missed a concert due to my drunken stupor and still can’t fully remember how a girl managed to pee at the urinal next to me while standing. It’s all just a fog.

Film School: I never attended film school and I never went on to earn a degree in journalism. I regret this. You see, I was so hell bent on proving to my dad I could graduate from college in four years, I failed to continue my studies in other areas of interest when college was actually affordable. When else was I going to be able to attend college full time and live on a yearly budget of $3,000.00? This is now about what it cost a family each month to send their kid to school.

Writing Credit: In college, I took Theory of Softball as part of a minor in Sports and Games. It was a real grueling class that, among other things, required me to keep the box score for the 1891 World Series.

As part of the course, we were assigned to come up with a glossary of 50 softball terms along with their explanations. Our instructor was a retired womaen’s softball coach of some notoriety so there was no problem of having plenty of terms to select from.

Anyway, turns out she not only liked what I submitted, but was so impressed that she asked me if she could use the entire glossary in a book she was writing.

Of course, I said yes, received zero credit and worse, no residuals. Once you receive a residual check you always regret having lost out on the opportunity for more because they just arrive out of the blue in the mail and are nice little gifts that turn your worst days into pleasant ones.

Winchester Road: Another great way of making money without having to work is to purchase real estate, sit on it, and wait for the market to need you so bad you make a killing.

My father once allowed Chevron Oil to drill on a vacant piece of land he and a friend owned in Contra Costa County under the agreement Chevron would pay all the operating costs in exchange for paying my dad and his friend ten percent of what was sucked out of the ground.

Well, they found enough oil to keep drilling on his land long into his old age. This brings me to Winchester Road, which connects Hemet to Temecula.

In the mid 1980s my wife and I were out visiting her folks and drove with them to Temecula. I was struck by all the “For Sale” signs for property along the narrow two lane road and thought we should take the money we socked away and purchase some of the land.

My thinking was the road would become developed as the population grew.

Long story short, we held onto our money and the area turned into a bonanza for speculators. When you are in your twenties, this is the time to roll the dice. If you strike out, you still have a life time ahead of you to make money. However, if you hit it rich, well, you get the idea.

Yosemite: I know, it seems to be everyone’s favorite national park. As a kid, I vaguely remember a trip there and what stood out was the crowds and the lack of a restaurant anywhere near the entrance causing me to feel like I was going to starve to death. Still, my parents took me there and I failed to take my kids there.

It has nothing to do with my childhood experience, although being stuck in the back of the family station wagon with my two younger sisters felt like a punishment. No. It is because Yosemite, in particular, El Capitan, is the place where my brother Rob fell to his death on his 42 birthday in 1992. I just lacked a desire to visit the park with my kids knowing he left behind a wife and two beautiful daughters. I may not be able to take my kids there now that they are grown, however, I do plan to visit the park and bring closure to something I should have done long ago.

The Past: No, I do not regret my life nor would I trade my experience with any other person. What I do regret was my fixation on the past, an end result of my battle with depression. It’s hard to see the road in front of you when you are looking in the rearview mirror.

I think of the lyrics to the U2 song “Lemon”: “Man dreams of leaving but he always stays behind.”

Why did I remain behind and dreamed so much of leaving southern California at a time it offered everything I needed? It took me a while and a bit of pain to realize the journey is not about where you are at or where you are even headed. It has more to do with who you are with. Sometimes, we are our worst enemy and fail to see we are not happy being with ourselves far more than we are unhappy with who we are with or where we are at. I am glad to say I have managed to change all of this and am headed in the right direction.

As for Britain? Well, it’s anyone’s guess where they are headed. However, I have to think they will survive Brexit. After all, they survived the plague, Hitler, and a crumbling empire so there is no reason to think they can’t survive a bad vote.

Top photo by Tim Forkes