Mancation: #9

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After getting drunk and running off to El Salvador with a man I had known for three days, then finding out he was married, I figured it was time to take a deep look at the dramatic dating mistakes I make.

The author meeting wild parrots. (Photo provided by author)
The author meeting wild parrots.
(Photo provided by author)

Chesty seemed like Captain Perfect when I met him, so how could I have known the ship would sail the way it did? How did he know exactly what to say to get me on the dingy of deceit? I had to get to the bottom of this … I’m determined to learn Relationship Red Flags.

Hindsight is 20/20 so I realize that my first lapse in judgment was drinking rum for three days straight. There may have been subliminal messages that I wasn’t seeing clearly in between shots of liquor.

Another hiccup in the equation was that I believed everything he told me; I can’t be so willing to trust anyone — at least until I’ve thoroughly Googled them. And he was too confident, this cocky confidence was more than likely his way of over-compensating for the lies he was spewing.

But perhaps the biggest issue is my own – I’m desperate for love.  My last long-term relationship was so wretched that now I’m willing to fly to El Salvador with the first guy that buys me a shot of rum and tells me I’m pretty. The truth is, maybe I’ve become the Red Flag.

Diving in the waters off Honduras. (Photo provided by author)
Diving in the waters off Honduras.
(Photo provided by author)

It was time to take Mancation more seriously — an actual vacation from being around men. No more wondering when I was going to meet Mr. Right, no more running away to foreign countries with random men and absolutely no more dating.

Since I was still on a tropical island paradise, the next week was spent snorkeling, swimming, and diving. I read books, tanned on the beach, fed monkeys, met wild parrots, and exercised. I was learning about me, I had fun with myself, and there was no need for a man to give me attention. So, of course that’s when a beautiful British man showed up in my room looking for a place to stay.

No, really … I was staying in a Hostel in Honduras with three empty beds in my room. It was only a matter of time before something like this would happen. “#9” was one of the best-looking men I’d seen in a very long time — he was perfect; tall, dark, handsome and a great accent.

I struck up a conversation with this suave chap and before I knew it we spent the whole day on the beach together. He was sweet, mysterious, and would be gone in two days. I tried not to breach the vows of Mancation, but he was just so good looking!

Lessons learned with #9 (Photo by author)
Lessons learned with #9
(Photo by author)

Luckily, I didn’t drink endless shots of rum with him (maybe a few), I didn’t run off to another country with him (although I wish I had), I didn’t beg him to stay on the island with me (but I did ask him to stay a couple times); instead this romantic rendezvous concluded with only a kiss and a Facebook friend request.

#9 taught me that people will inevitably come and go from your life, so enjoy the moments you have.  It was a simple lesson: live for today.

Was I doing Mancation all wrong?  Maybe if I surround myself with men I’ll learn more about them? It’s worth a shot.

A few days later I left the Island with a whole new perspective on Mancation. Watch out men of Los Angeles, I’m coming home and I’ve got a great tan!