Mancation: #9

After getting drunk and running off to El Salvador with a man I had known for three days, then finding out he was married, I figured it was time to take a deep look at the dramatic dating mistakes I make.

Chesty seemed like Captain Perfect when I met him, so how could I have known the ship would sail the way it did? How did he know exactly what to say to get me on the dingy of deceit? I had to get to the bottom of this … I’m determined to learn Relationship Red Flags.

Hindsight is 20/20 so I realize that my first lapse in judgment was drinking rum for three days straight. There may have been subliminal messages that I wasn’t seeing clearly in between shots of liquor.

Another hiccup in the equation was that I believed everything he told me; I can’t be so willing to trust anyone — at least until I’ve thoroughly Googled them. And he was too confident, this cocky confidence was more than likely his way of over-compensating for the lies he was spewing.

But perhaps the biggest issue is my own – I’m desperate for love.  My last long-term relationship was so wretched that now I’m willing to fly to El Salvador with the first guy that buys me a shot of rum and tells me I’m pretty. The truth is, maybe I’ve become the Red Flag.

It was time to take Mancation more seriously — an actual vacation from being around men. No more wondering when I was going to meet Mr. Right, no more running away to foreign countries with random men and absolutely no more dating.

Since I was still on a tropical island paradise, the next week was spent snorkeling, swimming, and diving. I read books, tanned on the beach, fed monkeys, met wild parrots, and exercised. I was learning about me, I had fun with myself, and there was no need for a man to give me attention. So, of course that’s when a beautiful British man showed up in my room looking for a place to stay.

No, really … I was staying in a Hostel in Honduras with three empty beds in my room. It was only a matter of time before something like this would happen. “#9” was one of the best-looking men I’d seen in a very long time — he was perfect; tall, dark, handsome and a great accent.

I struck up a conversation with this suave chap and before I knew it we spent the whole day on the beach together. He was sweet, mysterious, and would be gone in two days. I tried not to breach the vows of Mancation, but he was just so good looking!

Luckily, I didn’t drink endless shots of rum with him (maybe a few), I didn’t run off to another country with him (although I wish I had), I didn’t beg him to stay on the island with me (but I did ask him to stay a couple times); instead this romantic rendezvous concluded with only a kiss and a Facebook friend request.

#9 taught me that people will inevitably come and go from your life, so enjoy the moments you have.  It was a simple lesson: live for today.

Was I doing Mancation all wrong?  Maybe if I surround myself with men I’ll learn more about them? It’s worth a shot.

A few days later I left the Island with a whole new perspective on Mancation. Watch out men of Los Angeles, I’m coming home and I’ve got a great tan!