October Letters to Jim: Fall Colors, Close Elections, Middle East Wars and More

Less daylight, falling leaves, and a little more crispness in the air means autumn has arrived. It also means we are a month away from the election and there seems to be a few questions on the minds of readers. What could possibly be left to ask?

Dear Jim,
How do you explain that a month away the polls still show this election way too close to call? Do you think there will be violence after the results are announced? Are we going to become two separate nations when the dust settles?
Concerned

Dear Concerned,

If the final results are as close as polls show are now, then yes, I predict violence. First, based on what happened on January 6, 2021, it is safe to say Trump and his people will make sure there is violence if he loses again. If he is elected, by the time he is sworn in, there will be plenty of violent protests as well and he will use these protests as an excuse to turn loose his dogs.

It seems we are already two different nations, and the seeds were first planted immediately after the 2000 election. Then when the right began all their BS over Obama and whether he was actually a U.S. citizen, we grew further apart. Certainly, since 2016, we have become two countries under one roof. It makes sense when every presidential election ends up with Democrats winning the popular vote only to see their candidates lose more often than win.

Finally, why are the polls so close? It is either because we are so terribly split, have little knowledge of our nation’s history and freedoms, or media outlets profit more from a close election. If you forced me to come up with an answer, I would select D) All of the above.

Dear Jim,
>Do you have any political insights regarding the Vice-Presidential debate? Who do you think will win? Will it sway enough voters to impact the election?
Political Junkie

Dear Junkie,

Please enter a rehab facility ASAP.

Dear Jim,
What would you advise Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa? Would you recommend he return to professional football or retire as a result of his concussions?
DolPhan

Dear DolPhan,

I have had my share of head injuries, with the worst coming from a tree trunk, and can honestly say whatever advice I give to Tua, you can bet the farm I will forget what I said. My history of head injuries began when my grandmother dropped me on my head at two weeks, so yes, I can actually claim I was dropped on my head as a baby. I have had concussions from playing sports, been hit in the forehead with a line drive while pitching in little league, and once tried studying for a high school exam.

In the end, Tua Tagovailoa has to make up his own mind. Repeated head trauma did not do Muhammad Ali any good. Several concussions probably are behind Brett Favre being diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I am sure there are thousands of others with similar results, but none of that matters. As long as Tua is allowed to make his own mind to do what he wants moving forward, and should that include playing football, then it is his life and his body.

The real shame is there are people who will encourage Tua to make his own choice who also have no problem telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies.

Dear Jim,
Now that autumn has arrived, what are some of the things you look forward to with shorter daylight, colder weather, and the holiday season approaching?
Autumn Lover

Dear Autumn Lover,

I am looking forward to seeing the colors of Bidwell Park as the leaves change and the end from our summer heat. However, after months of endless media coverage, I am really looking forward to a break from… no, not the election because that is not going to end soon, but rather all things Caitlyn Clark.

Clark is a heck of a basketball player, but I am sick of all the headlines that focus on her. Believe it or not, she is not the best female basketball player ever. She is not even the best female basketball player currently. However, because she represents a modern day version of the Great White Hope, our media fails to sufficiently cover other female basketball players of color who are superior to her.

The media needs to give it all a rest and cover the WNBA as a rising sport with MULTIPLE great players, some whom are white and some who are black.

Dear Jim,
We are coming up on the one year mark of Hamas’ attack on Israel. Peace is nowhere in sight and now Israel is targeting Hezbollah in Lebanon and risking an all-out war that would also include Iran and probably The United States. Is there any solution that will avoid a major war?
Very Concerned

Dear VC,

In my opinion, if there is not an all-out war soon then we will continue seeing the back and forth of attacks between Israel and two terrorist groups. I also believe that there is no peaceful solution as long as Israel’s Prime Minister Netanyahu remains in power. Not only is he determined to leave a legacy of eradicating terrorist threats to Israel, he is also determined not to be sent to prison or face a conviction for crimes against humanity.

Unfortunately, there is no one else who seems to want to replace Netanyahu. On the political front, there are too many leaders in Israel who want to make terrorists pay for threatening Israel’s existence. For the most part, the citizens of Israel have little say on the matter.

It’s also important to point out that Hamas and Hezbollah are not innocent in this. However, if anyone points out that this was all brought on by the Hamas attack, they fail to understand the complexity of life living next door to Israel.

In a perfect world, there would be a two state solution that saw peace minded leaders running a Palestinian nation and Israel not under the thumb of Netanyahu. Since neither is going to happen soon, the only thing I can predict is more innocent people from all sides will continue being killed because leaders believe compromising is political suicide.

Dear Jim,
Why can’t you see we are a safer nation with Donald Trump as President? Do you really think Vladimir Putin and other thugs will fear Kamala? Safety first, MAGA all the way, go Trump.

Voting Safety

Dear Fool,

If Trump wins, we will still have the usual enemies abroad and less support from nations who are no longer our allies thanks to Diaper Don’s policies. However, our foreign enemies become less of a problem to us with Trump in the White House only because our biggest enemy will be him.

Dear Jim,
What are your thoughts on propositions on the ballot? I never know which way to vote on them. Can you help me?
How Do I Vote

Dear HDIV,

When it comes to propositions, keep a few things in mind. First, they are usually proposed because someone is looking to profit off of them. Second, if profiting is not the case, then they are offered to fix problems as a result of mismanagement of tax dollars.

If it is against the law for a woman to proposition a man then it should also be against the law for voters to be propositioned because in both cases, people get screwed and regret it (An std by one or fewer dollars in your savings by the other).

Passing a $10b dollar bond to be paid over thirty years to fix our schools or any other public institution is a tax. Our government buys a bond for ten million dollars while taxpayers end up paying 18 billion because of the interest. Since most Californians do not have enough money as it is, and because most of us complain about our high taxes, why would anyone vote for more in the form of a proposition?

Let’s never forget Jerry Brown’s “train to nowhere.” That alone should tell you never to support a proposition.

One other reason not to is that too often, these propositions call for some sort of oversight committee which ends up being well paid for their “work.” Who usually ends up serving on these committees? They are not average citizens, but rather men and women who are being paid back for political favors.

As long as citizens are expected to live within their means and balance their budgets, it needs to be expected from our government. And as long as the wealthy fail to pay their fair share of taxes thanks to political favors and loopholes, I won’t offer to pay more by voting yes on any proposition.

Dear Jim,
Has your new puppy driven you over the cliff like Laverne and Shirley or are things going better this time?
Dog Owner

Dear DO,

So far, Bug has been great. He’s been teething so his little teeth have drawn blood on me a few times, but otherwise he is wonderful. It helps that he is only about the same size as Laverne or Shirley’s head. He sleeps through the night and I do not worry about waking up to a living room destroyed. The biggest challenge is dog proofing the yard. He’s so small, he can slip through the smallest space.

Dear Jim,
Why are you opposed to the death penalty? Wouldn’t you want the person who killed a loved one of yours to be executed?
Kill More

Dear Killer,

I have no qualms with execution other than the people who seem to speak out in support of it are the same ones who claim to be pro-life and oppose abortion. I believe a woman has a right to do with her body as she chooses. I do not believe the state has that right. Now, since it is the state who is killing someone for a crime, I believe it is imperative they do so in a manner that is not cruel and all too often fails.

From a money standpoint, it doesn’t make sense to execute someone when the total cost of all their appeals, whether the convicted wants them or not, and time in prison far exceeds the cost of a life sentence without parole. Let’s not forget, by adding more crimes to the list punishable by death, once MAGA also cleans up our illegals who steal our jobs, we end up with fewer prisoners to use for cheap labor.

The solution for executing criminals is the new Swiss Suicide Machine. It kills a person almost instantly and without pain. No botched suicide cocktails, firing squads, hangings, or stoning to death is needed. Simply seat the convicted in the bubble, push a button, and let them breathe in the nitrogen gas and slumber forever.

Come to think of it, it might come in handy for me to have one instead of spending my final years letting insurance bilk Medicare to try and keep me alive.

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Until next month, I have leaves to rake and a suicide bubble to build.