Taking Note of a Few Things: Episode 2: When Mother Nature Farts

Top illustration by Tim Forkes

The White House has promised to provide ten million covid tests a month for public schools to help them keep up with the pandemic. There are two big problems with this. First, it assumes schools will embrace testing. Just look at how highly they think of all the academic testing they’re required to do. Second, there is not a test created by experts of any kind that students won’t figure out how to cheat on.

Bob Sagat was about the raunchiest comedian I have ever watched perform. He was also one of the strangest comedians when it came to the material he drew on. How he balanced his TV persona with his stage persona had to be a challenge. It always saddens me when a person who makes the world laugh for a living passes so unexpectedly.

Klay Thompson’s return to the NBA is great to see. An outstanding player and just as outstanding a person is a living example of how far we have come in sports medicine. A torn ACL or a ruptured Achilles tendon were enough to end any athlete’s career in the 70s and 80s. To suffer both injuries back-to-back and return to show the form Klay has shown has been impressive.

If I go deaf, will I be able to hear my tinnitus?

Are we supposed to feel sorry for Novak Djokovic? Karma would be for him to finish his career flailing away at trying to be the all-time grand slam record holder only to fall short by one win. He has no sound reason to complain about being deported from Australia.

Rogue politicians who go against their party’s plan, such as Krysten Sinema recently did regarding the filibuster, are not to be confused with courageous leaders. Our nation was founded on bipartisanship and the ability to work through our differences to find a common good. Today, it is simply us against them with clearly drawn lines on most issues. When a party member crosses that line, it is for personal gain and not for the good of the nation or even the state he or she represents.

When are we going to learn that diplomacy does not work when dealing with Vladimir Putin? Ukraine is on its own. Putin knows if we can’t keep democracy alive here at home, we sure can’t defend it from a bully who wants another nation for himself. There are some leaders where diplomacy is pointless. It’s something Hitler, Putin, and Trump all share.

Depending on where you live, omicron has either begun to show signs of subsiding or is still wreaking havoc. Either way, it will eventually fade. However, when it does, you can bet there will be another variant or two waiting its turn to do its thing. Covid is testing our patience primarily because we have become used to instant gratification and have relied on quick fixes while kicking problems down the road. Maybe it’s time we begin learning that the best things take time and require a commitment to keep working at improvement.

I sure made a mistake in my prediction on the Bills/Patriots playoff game. I figured their familiarity with each other would result in a close game and that Bill Belichick would know how to keep the game close. I forgot, Belichick was coaching the game and not playing it. New England had a decent season but has a way to go before they contend with Buffalo.

The epitome of class when I was younger was Chris Evert. The way she conducted herself when she was the number one tennis player in the world was no different than when she was supplanted by Martina Navratilova. She won and lost with grace and was never one to point the finger of blame for her defeats. Now that she has been diagnosed with cancer, my guess is she will handle this fight with the same level of dignity she has always had.

When Mother Nature Farts, she sure has a way of sending shock waves around the globe. Tsunamis are no joke. Thanks to satellite photography, we can see just how far reaching they are. Let’s hope our nation’s ability to help repair the damage done to Tonga and other small island nations is just as far reaching. They will need it.

You will know I have dementia the day I become a Lakers fan. Until then, I will always get pleasure reading headlines about how horrible they are playing. Keep up the bad work.

Today, I felt the shoe on the other foot at work. A female guest at our motel needed a trash bag to put a few things in before she checked out. She was quite pleased when I gave her one. Talking with her, I noticed she had a thick Hispanic accent, and I am sure she noticed I was not only male, but white and doing work often performed by Hispanic women. I do not know if it was my dashing good looks or the pleasure she received seeing the reversal of rolls. Either way, she placed a five-dollar tip in my apron pocket and then said, “I hope to see more of you the next time I stay here.” I feel so objectified, but hey, the extra five bucks is nice.

For the first time in my life, I can’t imagine what sort of event would have to happen to unite this nation. There seems to be zero willingness to work together at any level and more and more people have no problem doing or saying anything they want at the expense of others. We are a sad example of a nation built around the concept of the common good for all.

The NFL lacks diversity. I am not talking about the lack of black coaches and general managers, although they are horribly underrepresented. No, I mean in the broadcast booth and talking head positions. Can we stop with the hiring of former Cowboys players for a decade and pick guys from another team?

Why do NFL teams chase youthful first-time head coaches so much? The average first time head coach wins 44 percent of their games before getting fired. A coach hired for the third time wins over 55 percent of their games. Even I understand this math.

The wealth of the ten richest people in the world has doubled since the start of the pandemic. If you are reading this, sadly, you are not one of those ten. However, there is a good chance since the pandemic you have doubled your debt, waistline, and mental health issues.

Are all politicians from Florida bat shit crazy or just the two guys who lead GOP polls for the next presidential race? Jeb Bush was from there too. I sense a trend.

Apparently, a large asteroid is passing very close to earth. I wonder if it will stop to pick up any hitch hikers. This planet is not long for this world.

Anyone besides me think it is a great idea to have Betty White become the face of the one-hundred-dollar bill?