Thoughts to ponder if you like thinking too much

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For some reason, I chose April as a month to post random thoughts and observations on Facebook and called them Brain Farts (Okay, not an original name). Since it is easier to cut and paste them into an article than it is to actually write something new, I figured why not share them with more than my friends, most of whom I really do not know.

Please, if there is a shrink or mental health professional out there who feels they can help me after reading these, I hope you will reach out to me or at least see fit to notify the authorities so I do not purchase a gun.

You’re it
You’re it

Kids today will grow up thinking tag is something you do on Facebook and not on the playground.

Anti Vaxers claim vaccinations are not necessary and cause Autism. Dogs get multiple vaccinations, but I’ve never seen one with autism. Have you?

Only a fool would voluntarily go into business with a man or woman he does not like or trust. Only Americans select their next president between two people more than half of the country does not like or trust. Maybe it isn’t our leaders who are screwed up.

News flash: “The System” is rigged! Wow! There’s a surprise. The only reason there is so much anger over it now is because the average voter (And some candidates) remain ignorant to “the system” until it is too late to change it. Guess what? You are stuck with “the system” for the time being and until the very people who are so angry over it become more involved in actual politics between elections, it will remained rigged and you will be just as pissed off in another four years.

If you really expect the people who have rigged “the system” to change it for you, you have no business being allowed to vote. Oh, and I also have some great beach ront property in Montana to sell you if you are interested.

The nice thing about a transgender bathroom is the person who uses one gets to yell at him/herself for leaving the lid up.

Let’s end the BS of primaries and long presidential campaigns and give politics back to the people in a way that will captivate the entire nation. Anyone else think we should try a Hunger Games approach to selecting our president?

Each state holds a lottery and selects one citizen to navigate their way through a series of difficult mental and physical challenges in which they must defeat their opponent. In the end, the last one remaining selects our president. It would be fun to watch and can’t result in anyone worse than who we have to select from now.

Do you hate waking up to the sound of an alarm going off? Sick of hearing an obnoxious talk show host or song as your first sound each day? Then get a dog. She’ll wake you up at the same time every day, even when the power goes out in the middle of the night. It just takes a little getting use to a tongue in your ear, but that sure beats “I Got You Babe,” first thing in the morning.

Americans like to point the finger more than solving problems because it excuses them from having to change their ways. And yet, the more fingers we point, the more problems we end up having. I don’t know about you, but I am waiting for us to run out of fingers.

What if the person who came up with the concept of God was dyslexic? We’d have to wage wars over whose dog is the only true dog. Would that be enough to make war seem stupid?

So Harriet Tubman is the new face on the $20 bill and already there is talk about whether or not it is a good choice. I’d say about the same percentage of Americans are just as clueless to who Harriet was as to who know nothing about Jackson (No he was not part of the Jackson Five).

So who should be the face of the $20 dollar bill? How about an inner changeable twenty that allows the self absorbed to place a selfie on it? What better choice for something that is no longer worth much?

Politicians and candidates who look for ways of taking advantage of loopholes to get what they want will always do what they want and ignore the will of citizens. They respect democracy about as much as they respect their enemies.

Prince performing for the Super Bowl XLI, February 4, 2007 (YouTube)
Prince performing for the Super Bowl XLI, February 4, 2007 (YouTube)

Funny how when someone like Prince dies CNN no longer needs to cover the likes of Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, or Bernie Sanders. Just goes to show you how insignificant presidential candidates are. One more reason why we should concern ourselves with politics at the local level and ignore the ass hats at the national level.

So this one is mostly for the people of Hemet, Caifornia, or Hemetians, Hemites, or Hemorrhoids. It has become a big deal around here to hear that Bar Rescue is filming at The Wheel House. Anyone else beside me wonder when there will be a show filming here called Town Rescue?

Bathrooms, bathrooms, bathrooms! Anyone else beside me tired of which public bathroom people use? Do you really think politicians can solve this issue? Why can’t we all just get along and pee?

So I see where there are 500,000 citizens are pledging to boycott Target over their support of transgenders using their bathrooms. That must mean there are about 329.5 million citizens who do not plan to boycott, right, or am I off target with this one?

Why is it I am not willing to wear a pair of boxer briefs two days in a row but am okay with wearing regular boxers on back-to-back days? The boxer briefs can be turned inside out and feel normal while boxers feel different when this is done. Still, the boxer briefs go right into my laundry basket at the end of each day where as my standard boxers will often be given a shot at a second day with me.

Does this make me a hypocrite, prejudiced, or just plain lazy from time to time? Some things in life are just a mystery no matter how much time I spend thinking about them.

By the time June 7th rolls around, California voters will hate the rest of the nation for failing to deliver a majority of delegates to both Democrats and Republicans running for president. That is, unless you really enjoy watching and hearing endless commercials telling us what great people these candidates are.

I always suspected this, but now I know it is true. Ted Cruz smokes a lot of pot.

Carly Fiorina — “Ted Cruz wins ...” except when he loses. (YouTube)
Carly Fiorina — “Ted Cruz wins …”
except when he loses. (YouTube)

I listened to Carly Fiorina tell a crowd how Ted Cruz has always won at everything, including every time he argued before the Supreme Court. I wonder what she was doing when Ted lost his famous dildo case?

Gordon Gekko was a character in a film played by Michael Douglas who believed greed is good. Douglas was well paid to demonstrate the evils of greed and dangers it possesses when it goes to our heads.

Donald Trump is a wealthy man guided by his own lust for more money and who represents what happens in real life when we allow greed to be our ruler. Gekko was mentoring a character played by Charlie Sheen, a guy seduced by greed. Now ask yourself, how has life turned out for Charlie Sheen? Do you really want to elect Trump and be a nation of Charlie Sheens? Personally, I’d rather be Emilio Estevez.

Old School. It’s a term I hear people my age throw around a lot. “I’m old school …” I now realize we can just drop the word school. Someone 20 years younger than me who does something like listens to CDs instead of down loads can say they are old school. Someone my age who does this does so because they’re old. If I do something that say was cool for my parents’ generation, that does not make me old school, it just makes me Dead School.

Newspapers are dying in this country. They just can’t keep pace with Internet news sources. Still, I read the paper every day. Not once in all my years of newspaper reading have I ever thought to myself, “Boy, I sure wish an annoying commercial for a product I have no interest in would interrupt this story I am reading.””