May Letters to Jim: People Get Ready

Ah, just think. This time next year, we might see May Day parades across this great land of ours with brown boots goose stepping down Main Street while our new Dictator for Life looks on. Tanks with bright and shiny new paint jobs, rows of missiles, and of course, Klansmen leading public lynchings.

Unfortunately, for now, we just have my fan mail so sit back and read what my readers want answers to.

Dear Jim,
How low does Biden’s approvals have to drop before he tosses in the towel? Can’t he see he is the cause of more problems than solutions? Can’t you see how we are better off with Trump back in power? Wake up while there is still time.
MAGA Now and Always

Dear Dip Shit,

I do not believe Biden is going to toss in the towel. I believe he sees his legacy as the president who preserved, or at least attempted to preserve, the future of democracy in this nation. He’s not like Donny who looks for others to fight for him, or get him out of real military service. He wants to be the leader who did all he could to leave behind the nation we were founded on for generations who have seen the deck stacked against them.

Other than the cost of living, which has increased over the desired two percent annual rate, all other economic factors point to not just improvements, but in many cases, record levels of growth. Abroad, we have stronger ties with allies than we had under Trump, and we have worked in cohesion with them to help Ukrainians in their war with Russia.

Biden has also not been impeached despite GOP attempts, and he has consistently pushed to improve the lives of the lower and middle classes, fight global warming, and embrace the rights of the most marginalized groups in the nation.

I see no reason for him to not remain in the race.

Dear Jim,
When baking cookies, is it better for them to be a little under done so they are soft and chewy or a little over done so they are crispy? There is a lot riding in our house based on your answer
Cookie Lovers

Dear Cookie Lovers,

The question you need to be asking yourself is are you planning to eat these cookies by themselves or are you intending to dunk them in a cold glass of milk?

I am a dunker. If milk is not available, I will go so far as to dunk my cookies in water. As a result, it’s best if the cookie is crispy because it is less likely to fall apart when you dunk it.

If your family is a mixture of dunkers and non-dunkers, I suggest you bake a couple of batches of both crispy and chewy cookies.

Dear Jim,
If Trump wins the election, what is the one thing you would recommend Americans do to get through his next term in office.
Concerned

Dear Concerned,

If the Supreme Court rules in favor of Trump’s legal argument that he can assassinate a political opponent and remain immune to legal ramifications, it will mean Biden can do the same to Trump to keep him out of office so I suppose you may want to urge our current president to do just that.

However, if you haven’t the stomach for assassinations, you might want to buy up as much disinfectant as you can get hold of since this is all you will have for medical coverage under Trump. You haven’t lived until you have consumed cocktails made of Gin and Bleach.

Dear Jim,
What is the biggest difference between Biden and Trump? I need a simple argument for someone to understand.
Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

This is easy. One is old, senile, and proven to lead this nation down the toilet of life. The other is President Biden.

Dear Jim,
As a former teacher, what would you say is wrong with our public education system today?
Troubled

Dear Troubled,

This is also easy. The system has become top heavy and focused on generating profits at the end of the year through excessive testing and micromanagement, instead of pushing to turn out better human beings.

Dear Jim,
What do you make of all these college idiots protesting the war in Gaza? Do these kids even know where it is on a map? I get the feeling they live to bitch and moan about anything and everything in life and would do all of us a favor if they’d just shut up and go back to their studies.
Pissed

Dear Pissed,

Peaceful protests are a hallmark of our free speech and I applaud them for their passionate displays. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to see the grotesque and random slaughter of innocent people and be angry over it. You can easily learn about our involvement with the Israeli government and how we have profited from selling them our top military weapons. Then when you see those weapons used to kill over ten thousand children and over thirty thousand lives under the guise of hunting down terrorists, it’s normal to be outraged.

What I do not understand is people of my generation had no problem protesting our acts and atrocities in Vietnam but are now questioning our youth when they do the same over Gaza.

My generation who protests the protesters have proven they have been bought and paid for and forgotten their ways. We have become too comfortable living a nice life and seem to think younger generations have no clue about the world. If anything, it is us who have no clue about the world because we care more about what is in our 401K’s so we can travel and play in our later years and forget about everyone else.

Dear Jim,
You recently joked about being available to speak at the USC commencement. What are your thoughts about graduation ceremonies being canceled around the nation all because of what valedictorians may or may not say about what is unfolding in the Middle East
Just Wondering

Dear JW,

I find it strange that lifetime scholars who run major universities and are paid handsomely in the process want to shut down graduation ceremonies over what may or may not be said. Since when are our universities supposed to turn out graduates who all think and believe in a like-minded manner?

We make fun of college kids because they are too sensitive to accept the humor of touring comedians and then turn around and cancel them for what they might say at a ceremony. It’s hypocritical and runs against what our colleges claim to promote.

Personally, I have never been a fan of commencement ceremonies, even at the high school level. Graduates do not need a speech from a guest speaker who is asked to pass on words of wisdom and advice nearly as much as they need an opportunity for decent paying jobs and the opportunity to move up in life. Parents do not want to hear young students speak out on matters they may or may not be well educated in and schools want nothing to do with the horrible behavior of both graduates and families during speeches.

I liked what Chico State did back in 1981 when I graduated. Ceremonies were split between the various schools and held separately from one another. Mine, Social Sciences, was held in the gym where we heard a few congratulatory words from our school’s president and then received our diplomas. No controversies, no long-winded speeches, and no rude behavior. Perhaps more of that is needed over pomp and cancellation.

Dear Jim,
Why do you suppose our nation does such a poor job when it comes to meeting the needs of its people? Other than being filthy rich, it seems more and more Americans are forced to do without. Why?
Short Changed

Dear Shorty,

The people shortchanged the most in America are our youth and elderly. Pretty much the rest of us are either screwed or delusional.

Yes, the rich hold way too much wealth and fail to pay their fair share in taxes because they own our elected leaders. We all know this, and we all allow it to continue because for the most part, we are given just enough comfort to not want to be bothered to raise up in arms and change things.

We have a responsibility to live within our means just as much as our leaders have a responsibility to provide us with real opportunity in life. We do not need more cars parked in our driveway than we have drivers in our homes. We do not need most of the latest gadgets sold to us, big ticket vacations, music festivals, and countless other big expenses advertised to us. We certainly do not need to run up debt pursuing these things when we have not paid off our college loans.

Our problem, as average citizens, is we want it all and we want it now. Our problem as a government is it gets involved in too many problems around the world that divert resources better used on its citizens because if we don’t we believe we will be forced to submit to another power.

You do not get to be number one in the world without stepping on the needs of others, even your own citizens. Like its average citizens, our government has learned it can’t have it all. As a result, our youth and elderly often go without.

Dear Jim,
Why do you think there are so many young people today who come out and identify as something else? What has happened to our society? Our future looks bleak.

Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

I think this is the end result of a corporate run world that tries to cram all of us into a one size fits all box and turn us into robots who blindly do as directed. There has always been pushback by a counterculture and always will, especially when people feel their individuality is attacked.

We also live in a world where people crave attention and must go to greater extremes to get it. However, if young people studied previous attempts by the counterculture to change the world, they would know their attempts largely failed because the corporate world is not going to change for them nearly as much as a bunch of upstarts will grow tired of being passed over for decent jobs and change their tune.

In the meantime, attention grabbing headlines are really designed for you to open articles and hopefully sell you something.

Okay folks, that’s it for another month. Until then, be good humans or animals if you happen to identify as one.