Christmas Mourning

Listen to this article

Mine is a house of mourning this holiday season. No decorations or lights will adorn its rooms to create a festive atmosphere. No parties or gatherings will bring notes of cheer to its everyday stillness. I will rest here alone as I reflect on love and loss. And that’s all okay because I’ve given myself permission to be sad during the holidays.

Sylvester (Maria Shamaya Clemente)

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. Last week the produce lady at our farmers market told me, a complete stranger, that her husband had passed away right before Thanksgiving. She didn’t know how she would get through Christmas. I understand how much pain she must be in and that she needs an opportunity to express that grief. Far too many recently widowed friends are going through the motions of a holly jolly Christmas surrounded by strangers and longing for home.

I think the greatest gift we can give bereaved friends this season is our open heart ready to listen compassionately. The innumerable losses that make up a human life are at the heart of many unspoken conversations. But grief left to fester can be devastating to body, mind and spirit. To be heard and to be understood is nourishment for famished souls.

Caring for loved ones involves the all too familiar ongoing routine of dedicated attention, medical supervision, schedule conflicts, food preparation and so much more. Mourning comes early as the earthly life tide ebbs away. As for me, I am also weary from the awesome responsibility of assigning an end date to someone’s life, to be the one to fill in the end of their dash. Comfort is fleeting, taking flight as the body reaches for much needed rest. If we can just be still, a silent night, holy night awaits us.

So the healthiest thing I can do right now is stop moving so fast and surrender to my heartache. To take some time to return to a peaceful center. Grief has its own journey and I am allowing it to take me where it will. I trust that love, soft as an angel’s wings, will guide me through the long night until I see the light of a brighter Christmas morning.

Dedicated to the memory of Sylvester, my beloved companion of 10 years.
Thank you for loving me.

Through her ministry, “Doorway Into The Infinite”, Rev. Maria holds the vision for the transformation of the consciousness of planet earth. She is a spiritual change agent committed to… educating people in the process of healing… empowering the world one creative thought at a time… and experiencing peace in our lifetime. Her articles, essays, and meditations have been published in various magazines. She has self-published numerous books and manuals, and released two recordings of guided meditations. She’s created a variety of classes, workshops, and spiritual performance pieces, where she expresses her profound interest in spirituality and peace. For more information, she can be reached at her website: or at her e-mail: