January Letters to Jim: 2024 elections, Trump (of course), Chico and New Year’s Hangovers

If you are reading this, congratulations for surviving 2023 and welcome to another new year. I don’t usually make a big deal about a new calendar year, but with the year I had last year and my moving into a house I just purchased in Chico, I feel good about a new beginning on multiple levels.

Let’s check out what’s on the minds of some of my loyal readers and see if I can help answer the pressing questions that weigh on their minds.

Dear Jim,
When Biden gets his old ass kicked by Trump in the election, will you finally admit his term in office was a complete disaster for this nation? How bad do things have to get before you bail on old Joe?
MAGA Man 4Ever

Dear MAGAT,

History has a way of determining how successful a president was in office. A good example was George Herbert Walker Bush. He fell in a three-way race less than two years after having an 89 percent approval rating, primarily because he broke his “No new taxes,” pledge. However, history has shown his doing so helped the nation avert a much worse recession. Add in his swift work with Desert Storm and not drawing it out for decades like his son got us into, and Bush Sr. looks much better today than when he left office.

If Trump wins, do you really believe he will act like a Central American dictator on just his first day? History already shows he will get drunk on power, break laws while in office, and attempt to profit while in the White House, which is why he is already seen as the worst president in our nation’s history.

I’m confident his second term, should it happen, will see this nation’s democracy threatened more than it was under his previous term.

Dear Jim,
Are there any Republican alternatives to Trump who can better serve this nation and if there is, wouldn’t it be wise for the GOP to dump Trump for him/her?
Conservative Tired of Trump

Dear RINO,

Sorry, but your party is all in on Trump and his philosophy. If the GOP dumps Trump, it will have to run another version of him or the GOP leaders in both houses will make life miserable for their new POTUS. The party has sold its soul to an Orange Devil and is stuck with his philosophy for the time being.

Besides, if they run another candidate, Biden has no reason to run again. He will be able to claim he defeated the threat of Trump and can hand over his party to the future, whoever that might entail. Even if Trump ran as a third party candidate, Gavin Newsom isn’t likely to stroll into the White House behind a more unified Democratic Party.

Dear JIm,
Why waste the time of readers with an all sports edition of your thoughts if you no longer follow sports all that closely?
Confused as Hell

Dear Confused,

The answer is simple. It was either that or do an entire column regarding my crush on Emmy Cho, aka Emmymade. I just do not want to do that yet as she is still married. However, if she dumps her husband, I am fully prepared to retire from writing and become her next cameraman for life.

Dear Jim,
Once you are settled into your new community, do you think you will consider running for public office? I am sure like many other California cities; Chico needs leaders who can help prevent it from being ruined with over development.
Hoping You Run

Dear Hoping,

The only running I plan on doing in Chico is either for exercise or to the side of Emmy Cho to comfort her after she dumps her husband. Otherwise, I will be content watching her videos, working in my yard, and looking for deals at the local dollar stores.

Dear Jim,
What is the one thing you most look forward to once you move to your new home?
Happy for You

Dear Happy,

Short term, I look forward to taking an afternoon nap on the weekend knowing that three or four motorcycle clubs won’t drive roaring by and wake me up. Longer term, I can’t wait to see all the leaves change color in Bidwell Park next fall. In between, I look forward to just settling into the community and enjoying its many offerings.

Dear Jim,
With all that you have experienced this past year, do you feel it was Karma at work or just a run of bad luck? From my vantage point, I think it is a direct result of your liberal ways and your failure to accept the Lord Jesus as your savior. It’s never too late to embrace him.
Jesus Is The Reason

Dear Jesus,

Did your brother Juan put you up to this or did you come up with this thought provoking analysis on your own?

Dear Jim,
Which of our two political parties is best situated to move on from their present leaders? Will Biden or Trump be the lasting influence on their party and which one will move on more successfully?
Political Junkie

Dear PJ,

It used to be that the GOP found their candidate early and avoided an ugly primary process while the Democrats beat the snot out of one another all the way through their convention. However, I do not see this being the case as much when 2028 rolls around.

Clearly, if Trump wins in 2024, he will insist on hand picking his successor if he can’t get away with selecting himself. However, if he loses, the GOP will have a huge mess to clean up to figure out how they move past Donny. There will remain a large faction that will insist on a candidate who will continue Trump’s policies while we are also likely to see a larger and more vocal moderate group push to take back the party power. I don’t see either group conceding and taking a back seat which increases the chance the loser runs a third party candidate.

On the Democrat side, I do not see Biden anointing a successor should he complete a full second term. He believes in tradition and will want to see the voters decide who they want representing them.  Perhaps it will be one of two Californians, Kamala Harris and Gavin Newsom, duking it out. However, Democrats have a wealth of worthy candidates to offer their voters so do not be surprised to see someone else rise to represent them.

Dear Jim,
What is the best way to prevent a hangover from ruining the start of a new year? Each year I go out and drink too much while ushering in the new year only to wake up with a hangover from hell. It’s too late for 2024, but it’s never too soon to prepare for next year.
Sure to be Hungover

Dear Sure,

The experts will tell you to eat a large meal and to drink moderately in order to lessen the effects of a night of partying. We all know this is BS and only meant to provide you with an excuse to overeat and drink yourself silly. Inevitably, you will get on the scale on New Year’s Day and be shocked to see it read another five pounds more than your already too much weight.

You can try taking a large dose of a laxative and spend the new year sitting on a toilet while also leaning forward, face down into an empty trash can. However, this is no different than a flu bug and who wants to begin the new year that way?

My suggestion is one most people will never try. At 6pm, workout hard for two hours before showering and getting dressed for the evening. Show up around nine to your New Year’s gathering and feel free to consume calories because you worked them off already while consuming a drink called water. You can disguise your water to look like a vodka or gin based drink or fill up an empty dark colored beer bottle with it and drink away. Your friends will be too drunk to notice and you can still dance, cavort, and party like it’s 1999.

Otherwise, stay home and watch movies.

Dear Jim,
In what way do you see 2024 being better for this nation given all the turmoil we seem to face? I could use a little hope.
Hoping

Dear Hoping,

I don’t. We live in a nation driven by turmoil created by sources who profit off it. Most of the turmoil dredged up on the national level is by design. It sells advertising, brings in money via donations, and is used to turn us against one another. All of these are tools meant to create the idea we are not a unified nation.

Personally, I believe anyone with an open mind who examines who profits the most off of this turmoil will take advantage of their right to vote and use it to elect people who will uphold the values this nation is built on.

There is only one political party that has officially denounced the coup of January 6, 2021. There is only one political party that wants to ensure the rights of all citizens. There is only one political party that supports our NATO allies. There is only one political party that chooses to invest in the common citizen before investing in the top one percent. There is only one political party whose presidential candidate is not facing federal election crimes.

When you look at our “turmoil,” it is created entirely by people who have no argument over the performance of Joe Biden, so they have to go to any length possible to create the idea there are much greater worries. Our greatest worry is the movement to install a President and political party hell bent on turning our government into a dictatorship. The GOP might as well rebrand themselves for what they are, Turmoil R Us.

Dear Jim,
What is the one thing you intend to cut back on more than anything else in 2024? Is it calories? Alcohol consumption? Screen time? Spending? Surely, there must be something you plan to cut back on.
Just Wondering

Dear JW,

The only thing that comes to mind right away would be socks. I realize through this move I have enough socks to cover my toes for two or three lifetimes. I have socks for running. Socks for cycling. Socks for day-to-day use. I have socks I wear on top of my day-to-day socks at night. I also have socks I wear on top of the socks I wear over my day-to-day use. I realize I am addicted to socks and may need help moving past my socksual addiction.