Job Opening: Fall Boy wanted

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Photo above: New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft
surrounded by media during the Super Bowl XLIX Media Day in Phoenix, AZ.

Fall Boy Job Opening
Company: National Football League
Position: Fall Boy
Duties: Must admit to letting out the air of at least a dozen footballs prior to the opening kickoff of the AFC Championship game.
Must be able to convince the public you acted on your own. Prior acting experience is helpful.
Must be able to carry a bag filled with at least a dozen footballs.
Salary: TBD based on how much money you can milk from a major television network for an exclusive interview (believed to be around $100,000.00) and for any guaranteed money from a major publisher for writing a tell all book.

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The NFL desperately needs a fall boy willing to make their Deflategate fiasco go away. At this point, the New England Patriots have gone all in and are calling out the NFL. Owner Bob Kraft has given his full support to coach Bill Belichick and star quarterback Tom Brady and now wants the NFL to apologize for how they have been treated.

The NFL, and once again Roger Goodell, have a major problem. They cannot prove the Patriots are at fault here. Furthermore, they also can’t prove the game officials failed to properly inspect each football prior to kickoff. Goodell has no one left to blame to make this mess go away.

Roger Goodell, as we have seen this past year, is not one to come straight out and admit the league screwed up. Game officials know they cannot admit to doing a poor job of inspecting each football without risking losing their job. But how does he explain how the Patriots balls became under-inflated? How does he explain Green Bay Packer quarterback Aaron Rogers stating he prefers footballs that are over-inflated?

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady at Media Day for Super Bowl XLIX. Someone should ask Tom who does his hair.
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady at Media Day for Super Bowl XLIX.
Someone should ask Tom who does his hair.

It is apparent word has leaked out among NFL quarterbacks that some, maybe most or even all, officiating crews have become lax in their inspection of game balls. More than likely, officials have adopted the practice of squeezing a few balls before signing off on them rather than going through the tedious process of inspecting each one with a pressure gauge.

What are the chances refs will admit to doing this? Well, what are the chances of refs not making any bad calls during a game? They catch enough flak for what they call or don’t call, does anyone really think they will take the hit for Deflategate?

So if Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and a team of game officials all claim they had nothing to do with under-inflated footballs, whose left to blame? It would be easy to blame a Patriots ball boy, but if he is wrongly accused, imagine the fallout? It would probably cost Goodell the job he no longer deserves but somehow hangs on to.

What Roger Goodell needs is a young man in his early 20’s to step forward and play the fall boy in all of this. The script is a simple one to follow. Just stick to it and the NFL can get on to looking for the next major crime of the century, like who put the Ben Gay in the Seahawks jocks before the Super Bowl?

 (Photos by Claudia Gestro)