Mancation: Baby Boom
As my favorite fans have pointed out in several sweet emails, I’m not getting any younger. I want to have children the old-fashioned way: meet a hot guy, get knocked up, then make sure he does the right thing and pops the question before I get too fat. But, I’m 36 so the old-fashioned way won’t be available if I don’t find Prince Charming soon.
Luckily, there are other ways to have a baby.
One of the easier ways to get a baby is to score a one-nighter with a hottie. Several of my girlfriends have inadvertently gotten preggers with this method and they weren’t even trying! Although it’s considered a one-night stand, you still have to do the research on the potential Baby Daddy. He needs to have money in case the kid costs more than you planned, check out his family (no crazy health or mental issues), and remember that ugly guys make ugly babies so choose wisely!
Dating a single dad is another avenue, but not one I would recommend. This has the most potential for problems. Don’t underestimate baby mama drama, their goal is to remove you from the happy little family you just found. And if break up is imminent, it is likely you will never see the children again, no matter how much you love them.
A sperm donor is a splendid idea! Similar to a one-night stand, but without the dinner first. There’s no romance in buying baby batter, but on the other hand I haven’t dated a romantic guy since college so purchasing the special sauce might be worth consideration.
Another idea is to sponsor one of those kids from a foreign country. The problem with this plan is that you don’t actually get a kid, but for less than $1-a-day they will send you pictures to post on your Instagram. It’s good practice while you weigh your other options.
But what’s a good short-term solution? Egg freezing. Freezing your eggs will free up some extra time to find Captain Perfect. When you’re ready they thaw out the eggs, pop them back into place and you squeeze out a baby! But how can a single woman afford such an expensive procedure? Launch a Kickstarter campaign!
I’ve considered these great baby-making ideas and for now, I’ve decided to keep looking for the man of my dreams. But, I’m hoping that women all over the world will read this blog and see that at the age of 36 baby-making plans are not as bleak as they seem.
Be sure to follow me on Instagram (FeatherGirl77) because I’m so pretty and on Facebook so you can find never-before-seen photos of me in compromising positions! And as always tell me your thoughts on Twitter (@jaimiebeebe) because I genuinely give a shit.
Jaimie Beebe is 36 years old, single, modern, and a Renaissance woman. She’s a writer, world traveler, Playboy model, amateur magician, casting director, producer, band manager, and occasional star fucker (only the really hot ones).
At 17 Jaimie left home to follow the jam band Phish, spent months at a Rainbow Gathering, protested logging in Oregon, and made the local Ohio papers getting arrested for organizing a topless march.
Slightly famous for rebuilding her Hollywood Hills home in a bikini after a contractor stole her money and left town, she created an online webisode “Bikini Builders” where followers could donate money, tools, and supplies to recoup her losses. Scantily clad babes in bikinis on camera can accomplish almost anything.
Jaimie holds a Master’s Degree in Music Management and a Bachelor’s Degree in Photography. Working in the entertainment industry she has produced commercials and music videos with A-list clients. Currently she juggles running her successful casting career (www.jaimiecasting.com) with writing her blogs, reviews, and a variety of pieces for different publications.
Mancation is her documentation of adventures in dating. Join Jaimie in the struggle to find mister right, or possibly just mister right now in a world of online dating, social media, and crazy Hollywood nights. See our hero navigate the deliriously deranged dating world, and explore all the available options to sniff out a worthy contender.
Feel free to follow along on Instagram: FeatherGirl77 and Twitter @jaimiebeebe as well as Facebook www.facebook.com/mancation.story for a daily dose of her dating disasters.