Do you suffer from disbelief, anger, or heartache that suddenly appeared following the 2020 presidential election? Are you unable to process the concept of democracy? Do you not understand when a candidate loses an election by seven million votes and fails to capture enough Electoral College votes, he has actually lost an election? Did you find yourself traveling across the country to Washington DC in the dead of winter during a pandemic to join other sufferers to demand change to our system of politics? Were you encouraged, egged on, or even enlisted by said failed presidential candidate to storm our Capitol building and look for politicians to blame because of your illness? If so, you may be suffering from Insurrection Day (ID).
ID can strike at any time but is particularly more apt to strike victims who lack the basic understanding or respect of how our political system works. It is found in people who are almost entirely white and who enjoy the company of racist groups. ID sufferers have also been shown to worship an orange faced leader who loves it when you shower him with your money.
ID patients can cause others who understand our political system to view you as crazy, off your rocker, and even downright dangerous. Some will see you as paranoid and perhaps in need of serious mental health treatment.
ID patients are especially difficult to treat because they tend to arm themselves with assault weapons and military gear. They enjoy purchasing guns, knives, and swords for their elementary aged children while raising them on the importance to understand the world they live in is reserved for whites and is currently under attack by a bunch of tree-hugging pussies.
You may also be suffering from ID if you are a supporter of 15 to 20 outlaw congressmen who think they make up the majority opinion of their own political party. You take pride in their willingness to prevent one man from becoming house speaker and are willing to hold up the most basic functions of the House of Representatives for as long as necessary. You may also not care if some of these members are flat out liars, perverts, or people under investigation by the federal government.
Don’t fret. There is now a pill ID patients can take to help eliminate their symptoms and allow them to rejoin the real world. A daily dose of Reality has been proven to help ID patients and their symptoms. Reality has been shown to diminish the urge to vent one’s spreading of false information on social media, decrease the likelihood of wanting to watch FOX News, and even open minds to the thoughts and opinions of people who believe differently as you.
Reality may not be for all ID patients so consult your doctor, shaman, or filthy rich clergy before beginning Reality.
Reality has been shown to cause confusion in some ID patients while they learn to adjust to their new lives. ID patients often display the sudden urge to part with their private arsenal, military clothing, and even their old friends. Don’t worry. The money you make selling your weapons can be used toward purchasing a new wardrobe and even going out for coffee or lunch with the newfound friends you make once you are fully a part of the real world.
Reality has been shown to cause thoughts of hope, joy, and confidence for our nation. The best part is, Reality is free for those in need of help, so do not be afraid to ask for it.
Reality is not responsible should your old pals turn on you and make your life miserable. If this happens, please consult your new friends who live in the real world. They will provide you with all the support you need.
Reality may not be for everyone. However, if you want to improve the course of your life or recapture the person you once were, ask about Reality. What have you got to lose?
Jim is a life long resident of California and retired school teacher with 30 years in public education. Jim earned his BA in History from CSU Chico in 1981 and his MA in Education from Azusa Pacific University in 1994. He is also the author of Teaching The Teacher: Lessons Learned From Teaching. Jim considers himself an equal opportunity pain in the ass to any political party, group, or individual who looks to profit off of hypocrisy. When he is not pointing out the conflicting words and actions of our leaders, the NFL commissioner, or humans in general, he can be found riding his bike for hours on end while pondering his next article. Jim recently moved to Camarillo, CA after being convinced to join the witness protection program.