Selfies? Enough of you - Los Angeles Post-ExaminerLos Angeles Post-Examiner

Selfies? Enough of you

Photo above: Who can forget The record-breaking selfie by Ellen DeGeneres and a collection of celebrities: Meryl Streep, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Julia Roberts, Jared Leto, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie — blocked by the brother of Lupita Nyong’o — and a few others. The photo was retweeted over two million times in just a few hours and still holds the record as the most retweeted message on Twitter.
Photo source: everywhere on the Internet.

Forgive me, but I am going to tap into my inner Lewis Black and tell you what I think of you; all of you. I’ve had it up to here — I am holding my hand above my head while I stand on a step ladder and debate the pros and cons of slipping a noose around my neck. I admit it, I live an insignificant life and that is just fine with me. What pisses me off is you do too, but you can’t seem to fathom the fact most of what you do does not matter to the rest of us.

A screen shot, which is not really a selfie, of Lewis Black on the Daily Show With Jon Stewart going on a rant about ... (Facebook)

A screen shot, which is not really a selfie, of Lewis Black on the Daily Show With Jon Stewart going on a rant about … (Facebook)

I mention all of this because I swear I will puke up a kidney the next time one of you post a #ThrowBackThursday photo of precious you when you were six years old and standing next to Mickey Mouse.

  • Can we change it to #ThrowUpThursday in which others post embarrassing photos of you passed out in your own vomit after crashing a frat party?
Yes, you’re sexy, but that’s only your fourth selfie of you wearing that lingerie you’ve posted today ... (Facebook)

Yes, you’re sexy, but that’s only your fourth selfie of you wearing that lingerie you’ve posted today … (Facebook)

I get it; you were a cute little rascal when you were younger. We all were; even I was. If we weren’t, just imagine how ugly you’d be in all those selfies you post today.

Is there any end to all of this narcissism? Have our lives grown so shallow all we have to offer the world are hourly updates of ourselves? I used to think nothing could be worse than sitting through my Dad’s old slide shows of his world travels. He at least had the decency to leave himself out of 99 percent of the pictures he took. Now I have to see shot after shot of guess who? (here is a hint, it sounds like a vowel and contains only three letters).

Dude! You’re so hot you got a selfie with two hot girlfriends ... barely in the photo. (Facebook)

Dude! You’re so hot you got a selfie with two hot girlfriends … barely in the photo. (Facebook)

So you took a trip to Peru. Great! All I know is you shared 62 photos of what must now be called Machu-Peek-At-You. Here is a news flash, your face looks the same south of the equator as it does waiting in line for what ever concert you are about to attend.

I could also care less about what you ate last night. I want to see the six enchiladas you were served smothered in enough cheese to cause four hearts to stop beating about as much as I want to see the after affects in your toilet. This is America; everyone eats too much so stop bragging about it.

Nick Cannon gets a selfie with Heidi Klum and Mel B (Facebook)

Nick Cannon gets a selfie with Heidi Klum and Mel B (Facebook)

Here is another thing that really irks me about all of these photos you post of yourself. There’s no end to it. Right now, we only have #ThrowBackThursday by name, however, we might as well have the following for the other six days in the week: #MeMyselfandIMonday; #TwoMoreOfMeTuesday; #WoeIsMeWednesday; #FoodFeastFriday; #SelfAbsorbedSaturday; and #SomeMoreOfMeSunday.

Please, start posting pics and videos of your cat again! (Facebook)

Please, start posting pics and videos of your cat again! (Facebook)

Please, for the love of Pete, go back to posting stupid cat videos, inspirational quotes from Monks; or inflammatory comments about whatever race, gender, or group you hate. Just do so without a photo of yourself.

Posting "sexy" photos of yourself with your small children in the photos isn’t creepy ... it’s horrifying. (Facebook)

Posting “sexy” photos of yourself with your small children in the photos isn’t creepy … it’s horrifying. (Facebook)

Give me more videos of Wal-Mart fights because they help me realize just how great my life is. Feel free to talk trash about a sports team you do not like or even offer up a movie review. Just stop it with the photos of yourself and the hourly updates of what you have been up to because in case you did not already know it, we all know your life is not nearly as fun as you want us to think it is. And guess what? That’s okay. I will still like you even if your life is as mundane as mine.

Now excuse me, I have to figure out how to untie this rope before I go and eat a huge meal at a really cool restaurant where the staff and customers just love it when I sing karaoke.

The editor would like you to know his selfies are interesting. Or creepy. (Editor’s Facebook page)

The editor would like you to know his selfies are interesting. Or creepy. (Editor’s Facebook page)

• Editor’s note: An interesting article about men and selfies HERE. It isn’t complimentary.


About the author

James Moore

Jim is a life long resident of California and retired school teacher with 30 years in public education. Jim earned his BA in History from CSU Chico in 1981 and his MA in Education from Azusa Pacific University in 1994. He is also the author of Teaching The Teacher: Lessons Learned From Teaching. Jim considers himself an equal opportunity pain in the ass to any political party, group, or individual who looks to profit off of hypocrisy. When he is not pointing out the conflicting words and actions of our leaders, the NFL commissioner, or humans in general, he can be found riding his bike for hours on end while pondering his next article. Jim recently moved to Camarillo, CA after being convinced to join the witness protection program. Contact the author.
COMMENT POLICY

Comments are closed.

HOME / ABOUT / CONTACT / JOIN THE TEAM / TERMS OF SERVICE / PRIVACY POLICY / COMMENT POLICY

Los Angeles Post-Examiner