Taking Note of a Few Things: The Celebration of Life Edition

What better way to celebrate our nation’s birthday than with a rash of gun violence. After all, if guns earned us our freedom, it only makes sense they end up destroying it.

Celebration

I am not sure what the better defense for the Second Amendment is. It might be when a politician claims there is nothing that can be done to solve our gun violence or when some ass hat actually writes to remind me how our Founding Fathers felt gun ownership was our most important right which is why they chose to make it our second amendment.

It’s impossible to claim you are pro-life and pro-gun ownership at the same time without being a hypocrite. This is not to say there are not responsible gun owners out there. In fact, I feel bad for these people. They are lumped into a group that doesn’t represent them.

Responsible gun ownership is a rare thing. You cannot blame all the gun violence across this nation on the headline grabbing events. The statistics show that most folks who die from guns are the end result of family violence or failure to secure a firearm from someone either suicidal or looking to be splashed across the front pages of America.

Guns don’t kill, people do. Perhaps. However, guns make killing a hell of a lot easier. You think those accused witches in Salem were happy they were stoned to death, or do you think they would have preferred a bullet to the head?

But like the title says, this is not about guns, it is about the celebration of life. Like most everything else American, we find a way to go overboard with it. It makes me wonder if the S in the USA is really for Super Size.

Joey Chestnut had an off day at Nathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest. He managed to only consume 62 dogs and buns in ten minutes, fourteen shy of his record, and still won by several mouthfuls. The man is the Michael Jordan of professional eating and earns every bit of his half million dollars a year. Hot Dog.

I wonder what percentage of American workers called in sick on July 5th.

All you have to do to understand how much celebrating Americans do is stand outside the exit of any Costco or Super Walmart. We throw out more food than any nation on the planet after we have consumed more food than any country. Then we bitch about homeless people who scour through trash bins and dumpsters hoping to find something decent to eat.

One thing you never see thrown out is unconsumed liquor. Booze is gold and the more of it you have, the more friends you find hanging out with you. Nothing goes better with lots of booze and food than fireworks and guns. In the medical field, I believe this is referred to as job security. In the Bible, I think it is referred to as gluttony.

No wonder adults don’t have time to supervise their little ones. You can almost understand why they fail to be present when one falls into a pool and drowns or stumbles across Uncle Jerry’s new firearm. Being an adult is hard and celebrating excess is vital to our sanity. If a kid has to take one for the team, well, that’s just part of life.

This is why we even go overboard with funerals and memorial services. If having a good time kills, then it only makes sense to have an even better time remembering the life of someone. We love to celebrate the life of a dead person while also demanding the lives of people who commit crimes.

Funeral For a Friend

When I taught middle school, I was amazed at how mature and adult-like some twelve-year-olds were. However, once I met their parents and saw how they had yet to grow up, I realized that poor kid was tasked with being responsible for mom, dad, and siblings all too often.

It’s one thing when you are in your early 20s, and you live to party every weekend. It’s another when you are in your mid-40s and continue doing so in front of your children.

I recently caught part of an interview with Cyndi Lauper who said her anthemic song, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” was actually written by a man. She went on to explain how the version she heard was done as a sad commentary about white women in the 80’s. She actually had to be talked into reworking the song and making it the hit it became.

It turns out that July 3rd was the hottest day ever for our planet. The record lasted one day. Sweltering heat seems to have gripped much of the planet thanks to global warming. However, on my 4th of July morning bike ride, I had to dress for winter with three layers under my riding jersey, arm warmers, and two sets of socks. Three days earlier, the fog was so thick as I rode up and over a steep climb that most of the time, I couldn’t see more than twenty or thirty feet in front of me.

By the time you read this, that record will have been broken more than once. Heat Wave.

Things go better with coke if you work in the West Wing of the White House. I am sure it is Hunter Biden’s coke. Who else could it belong to?  Kamala? There must be massive coke parties going on there because as we all know, our president has lost his marbles. Think what you want, but I’d prefer there to be some coke in the White House than some Kook with Orange skin and an addiction to fast food and media attention.

I am officially a member of Medicare, which means I have no idea what I am and am not covered for. I have my plans A and B plus plan G which I am told is great coverage. However, I need another plan C for prescriptions along with dental and vision coverage. Six plans, each with their own bureaucracy, and each run by our government; what could possibly go wrong?

It’s hard to feel sorry for NBA player Russell Westbrook who just had to take the largest pay cut in league history. Apparently after playing out what was once one of the leagues largest contracts ever, there is no longer much interest in him given his deficiencies as a shooter and defender. The poor guy had to settle for a two-year contract worth a measly $8 million dollars. For $4 million dollars a year, I’d be more than happy to sit on the Clippers bench.

Basketball Jones

Spurs vs. Spears looks to be the next great courtroom drama for those without a life. Of all the people to go chase after someone famous and get turned back by bodyguards. I’m thinking she might have impulse control problems. Wasn’t there a time when Britney could not dine in public without people hovering around her fork? From hot to not.

I bet you thought I was going to post a Britney Spears clip.

Threads vs. Twitter: Just what the world needs, another social media app. Two billionaires with nothing better to do because they have no interest in trying to solve the endless problems facing this planet; they do agree on the importance of weaseling their way out of paying their fair share of taxes.

There has been talk of a caged fight between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk. I think it is only fitting that it is held in Las Vegas. To add to the stakes, the loser has to have dinner with Britney Spears.

Poor Marjorie Taylor-Green. First, she reports her television is spying on her and now word comes out there is a move underway to boot her from the House Freedom Caucus, aka Elected Leaders Who Support Insurrection. It won’t be long before she shoves Britney Spears out of her way to go meet someone famous on the streets of Las Vegas.

Viva Las Vegas!

Ha, still no Britney song.

It’s nice to know our rich are more concerned with space rockets and new social media sites while half this nation drinks water with poisonous chemicals. Putting one’s resources for the betterment of mankind is what separates our wealthy from others. Seriously, how they can go about tearing up the planet in search of precious metals in the name of personal wealth and fame while they know most of the world can’t drink clean water is criminal.

I have noticed recently a slew of documentaries coming out about famous people of the boomer generation. They seem to be on every streaming service out there. It got me thinking. My dad used to read a bunch of autobiographies of well-known people of his generation. Now my generation can’t be bothered, or perhaps afford the price of a hardback book, and have turned to watching a film. Then again, there was not enough money in the world to pull my dad out of his recliner to go play pickleball with my mom.

Unemployment came in at 3.6% this past month. How low does it have to go before even Republicans have to admit the Biden administration is doing a better job with the economy than the racist who held office before him?

The good news is, thanks to more than 400 volunteers, more than 4 tons of trash was collected around the shores of Lake Tahoe following the 4th of July celebration. The bad news is the communities around the lake are overrun by asshats who have no problem getting shitfaced and trashing the pristine area. I wish the major entrances around that lake were gated off and the number of visitors were limited to people with passes purchased in advance.

By the way, the news is reporting there is a foot fondler on the loose in the Tahoe area. The good news is, he recycles.

It only makes sense that our government sends Ukraine cluster munitions to combat the Russian army. After all, it is the best way to defeat the cluster f%#& known as Putin’s War.

Finally, I am continually amazed and thankful for all the love and goodwill that continues to be sent my way. I am not sure what awaits me over the second half of this year, but it can’t beat the first half, can it?