Unhappy, here is why

“What’s the last thing you made? Are you happy?”

These two questions might seem unrelated. What does making things have to do with happiness? A recent Entrepreneur piece offered the idea that, “happiness is your secret to productivity.” I’m fond of the linkage between the two – I just think they have it backwards. Happiness isn’t a key to production – production is a key to happiness.

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We live in a society right now that pushes consumption like never before. Black Fridays are getting rolled back to Black Thanksgivings and the Olympics are sponsored by the McDonald’s McRib. Everyone is telling you to consume, and everyone is wrong.

I’ve struggled for years with the pains of consumption – I looked like a bloated Michelin Man for years because I liked to put food into my face until I couldn’t put any more food into my face. I watched an ungodly amount of TV shows and movies, and I spent money on countless DVD’s, new shoes, furniture accents and novelty lava lamps. And I was incredibly unhappy and unfulfilled on a deep, personal level.

From observing many of my friends and acquaintances, I saw a remarkable through-line – those who created more tended to be happier and more fulfilled in their lives. Those who consumed more wrestled with a nagging darkness about their potential, their worth and their meaning. That’s not to say we all don’t struggle with these questions (right?!), but the people in this world who create are the people who leave this life feeling accomplished.

Creation can be as small as how you get your coffee fix in the morning. Do you rush into Starbucks to grab your Grande Dark Roast and chug it down on the commute? Could you buy ground coffee and brew it at home? Could you buy the beans and grind them and brew it at home? Could you buy the beans, grind them, and do a pour over for yourself?

The Starbucks option is 100% consumption, 0% creation (and 85% burnt). Each successive suggestion further involves you in the creative process of production for something you clearly like, or else you wouldn’t be drinking it. The more creation you inject into the process, the more you connect with the things you’re consuming in your everyday life. Isn’t connection the point? Detachment from your everyday activities, even the most seemingly insignificant, takes you one step closer to mindless complacency and eternal boredom.

When I saw my creation-consumption balance was far beyond lopsided, I started to look at what I could change. Sure, I could go buy Taco Bell on my break at work, but why not buy the ingredients and make food for myself? Yes, I could watch hours of a TV show I moderately like, but why not write a TV show that I unconditionally love?

The passions will be different for everyone – coffee, writing, being a mountain man – these are just a few of mine, but everyone will have certain things they care about, and if you’re at all able to put more of yourself into the production process of those things, you’re going to be a happier human being. Plus, it’s almost always cheaper to make things yourself than to purchase them pre-made.

Look, I realize that consuming feels good. Like, really good. But it’s a temporary high that vanishes almost as soon as you’ve consumed your product. Soon after you’ve purchased those stylish, brand new shoes, the excitement wears off and you’re ready for another pair.

But people need shoes (among many other things), and I understand that. You don’t have to cobble your own shoes if you don’t give a damn about footwear. This has little to do with specifics and everything to do with a change in perspective, and sometimes, the only way to change perspectives is to change your actions and let the thoughts and emotions follow.

You have a passion for writing? Quit watching Law & Order “to learn about the craft” and learn by doing. You’re going to feel a lot more fulfilled in the end. You love food? Stop dining out every night and take some time to cook a meal for yourself and your friends or partner. You enjoy decorating your living room? Skip Target and envision what you really want for the room – not what you’re told – then make it happen with what you can piece together. The fulfillment of making something is going to last much longer than the pleasure of buying something.

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When you’re dead, what are you going to leave behind? No one will know or care that you played a lot of video games or went to the best brunch spots. You are what you create. I realize that doesn’t sound nice to many of you. It doesn’t sound nice to me, either, but the truth is, if I don’t create anything that matters to me in my lifetime, I’m going to leave nothing of myself behind. I’ll be gone from the planet and from memory and from history in two generations. And that’s terrifying. If you haven’t found the core of your unhappiness, the fact that you don’t create might be the piece you’re missing.

Go make.