August letters: Moon colonies, stealing first base and presidential seals

Dear Jim,

50 years ago man walked on the moon. Now there seems to be another race to place a manned colony on it. What are your thoughts on space exploration in general and the moon in particular. Thanks in advance.  A space loving fan

Dear SLF,

To be honest, I am a bit conflicted about placing a manned colony on the moon. It’s been 50 years since we first set foot there, now we are just getting around to colonizing it. Imagine if we worked at this pace after landing at Plymouth Rock. The big challenge will be finding a source of cheap labor to do all the work. Slaves, natives, and immigrants are out of the question. I suppose some parents would volunteer their kids, but let’s face it, today’s kids can’t load a dishwasher so I doubt they’d be of much use.

We have done a pretty good job of destroying our planet and might be better served if we focused our efforts on improving life here before turning to the Moon or Mars. Besides, let’s say we did settle on the Moon or Mars, how is the NFL going to go over there? They can’t play a game on a decent field in Mexico, how do we expect them to bring our favorite game to space?

Lastly, 50 years ago, we also celebrated alternative living at Woodstock. Today, we can’t even get a concert commemorating that event off the ground. Perhaps if it were held on the Moon, it might be a great way of melding two great events from 1969.

Dear Jim,

Democrats have begun debating, Mueller has testified to Congress, Trump continues to tweet up a storm searching for issues to divide the nation; have you given any more thought to next year’s election? Thanks. A politics loving fan

Dear PLF,

Two things are apparent to me about the next election. It’s a four donkey race for Democrats as to who gets the party’s nomination: Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren. Also, it makes no difference to me which of those four get the nomination, they have my vote.

Trump has solid support within his party. I think Democrats will come together and support their nominee big time. The deciders will be “independents” or as I now call them “incapables;” people who can’t tell if Trump deserves another four years any more than they can tell if they need more toilet paper in their house.

I expect to keep seeing wedge issues brought up that are designed to cause emotional reactions instead of an intelligent look at Trump. Suddenly, the death penalty is being revived by the same political party that claims all lives matter. Democrats are offering up hope for more stuff like free/affordable health care, college tuition, and advise. Just remember, nothing is free if you are a Democrat so it comes down to whether or not Americans are willing to pay more taxes, tax the wealthy more, or turn us into the kind of commie/pinko/Marxist/socialists the right wants us to fear.

At the end of all this, I simply prefer to support the party that is more forward thinking, inclusive, and caring than the one paranoid and drunk on Kool Aid.

Dear Jim,

I read wear a southern country rock band has begun losing gigs because they display the Confederate Flag at their concerts. Isn’t the use of such a flag protected under the First Amendment? It seems to me like this is wrong. What do you think?

A Big Southern Country Rock Band Fan

Dear BSCRBF,

Get over it. Hey, I loved Lynyrd Skynyrd back in the day and they made full use of the Confederate flag. They slammed Neil Young, one of my favorite artists, in a tune called “Sweet Home Alabama” after Young wrote “Southern Man.” I love both songs. Here’s my point: we are a little more enlightened as to the offensiveness the Confederate Flag holds in the minds of Americans. While bands are free to display it any way they want, venues are also free to tell them to get rid of it or take a hike.

The moral high ground comes down to our own personal beliefs. Support what or who you think represents you all you want, but just know, whatever the name of this band is, they are nothing compared to the music produced by Neil Young and Lynyrd Skynyrd. You should be upset that neither artist will be around to appreciate much longer.

Dear Jim,

Baseball has seen some interesting things the past month. One minor league has begun to allow batters to steal first base. Tampa Bay fielded two pitchers, a righty and a lefty, at the same time, and now the Cardinals are accused of breaking unwritten rules by stealing bases while up by seven runs. Isn’t all of this more interesting than home runs and strikeouts?

A Huge Baseball Loving Fan

Dear HBBLF,

Allow me to break down each of these. Stealing first is a great idea. However, I think a better idea is allowing batters to steal third base. Imagine a team running a suicide squeeze play while at the same time the batter steals third? That’s more exciting than my other idea, allowing a runner on second to sneak up and pants the pitcher.

Two pitchers on the field at once? Why not? If the American League can do away with pitchers hitting, why not make them earn their keep by playing the field? Plus, it saves time on changing pitchers and requires managers to get their exercise in some way other than walking out to the mound.

Finally, the unwritten rules of baseball. They are unwritten because they are not rules, so teams technically can’t break them. I like seeing a baseball team make another team look bad or lazy. Let’s face it, it usually results in a child-like response; a 95 mph fastball to the chin of the next batter. This then results in the next best thing a fan could ask for, a brawl. It’s like bringing hockey to the diamond.

And when the dust settles, guess what? In most cases fans watched another meaningless game of a 162 game season that for most teams has been over since the end of May.

Dear Jim,

Congress keeps holding members of Team Trump in contempt for failing to testify before them. Isn’t this a serious charge and shouldn’t something more be done about it? Thanks. A Big Law Abiding Fan

Dear LAF,

One of the prerequisites of working for our president is to have a total disregard for the laws and practices of this nation. It requires people to not give a crap about anything other than getting the president reelected, keeping him from being impeached, and knowing you have no trouble spending eternity in Hell.

That said, the folks being held in contempt by Congress pretty much hold all this nation is for in contempt and don’t give a crap. They are banking on Donny providing them with pardons so they have no intention of changing their ways. These clowns have more fear of being told, “Wait ’til Donald returns to the White House after golfing,” than they do anything Nancy Pelosi threatens them with.

Dear Jim,

What is your feel good story of the month? Thanks. A Big Feel Good Story Fan

Dear FGSF,

Without a doubt, it has to be the artist who created the fake presidential seal that appeared while Trump spoke to a bunch of young Republicans. He claimed it was one of the worst pieces of art he has ever done and never intended it to be seen by the public. Imagine, an artist who was so dismayed by Trump he dropped out of the Republican Party shocked to see the worst president in our history standing in front of his worst piece of art only for it to go viral.

Trump can’t even blame the left for doing this to him.

My second favorite feel good story was Trump reminding all Americans of the heroic defense of our nation’s airports by our Revolution armies. How he blames a teleprompter going out for his display of a lack of historical knowledge just makes me smile.

Thanks for the letters and keep cool next month. It’s bound to Trump July as the hottest on record.