Cheesy pick-up lines are good for a laugh

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Pick-up lines.

No one wants to hear them unless they are being delivered by Steve Carell in a hilarious comedy flick. I can’t tell you how many times a drunk guy whispered some creepy nonsense into my ear, or how many times I laughed in his face and walked away. Luckily I only have to deal with one man whispering things into my ear these days – my boyfriend – Awesome. But that doesn’t mean other ladies don’t still have to deal with it.

The whole subject of “pick-up lines” is confusing to me. For example, is someone asking to buy you a drink a pick-up line? What if they are just lonely and want to talk to someone for a little bit? Is it a pick-up line if it’s not intended to be? I’ve certainly spoken to men in bars without the intention of taking them home with me. I was just making honest conversation, making my night a little more exciting by talking to a stranger.

I suppose you could go bold and say every time a man speaks to a woman in a bar with the intention of taking her home or dating her (or vice versa), it should be deemed a “pick-up line”. I often wonder if women have pick-up lines, and if they think of them in that particular term. In my experience, whenever I wanted to speak to a guy I would just say whatever I felt like. I didn’t think of myself as a pick-up artist, but maybe I was!

I just hate the title “pick-up line.” Maybe because they are made fun of more than they are effective. I could probably recite about 20 of them right off the top of my head without even batting an eye, and they are all terrible.

“Did it hurt…when you fell from Heaven?”
“Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten I see.”

“Are your feet tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day!”

That’s not to say pick-up lines should be ruled out completely. Sometimes a well-placed phrase can be useful if simple, appropriate and delivered effectively. If it’s a cheesy line, generally the woman will laugh (if she is worth it) and invite the guy to at the very least have a conversation with her.

If it’s genuine (“Hi, my name is Blank, can I buy you a drink?”) women are usually more receptive.
If it’s a compliment on something she is wearing/reading/drinking, make sure you actually mean it.

More women than you think can spot a fake compliment in a second flat and will reject you so fast you won’t be sure what really happened. Sometimes you don’t even need to speak. Once when I was in a bar, a guy sent me a drink through the bartender. It had never happened to me before, and I thought it was pretty cool, especially because I didn’t have to pay for the drink.

Word to the wise: pick-up lines do not work if they are raunchy, perverted, or in any way sexual. If any woman responds to a disgusting pick-up line, then you probably don’t want to be talking to her or, for that matter, sleeping with her either, because she’s probably been around the block a few times, has a sexual addiction, or is planning on killing you.

So for all you daters out there, choose your words wisely. It can mean the difference between a boring night alone and an exciting night with new friends. Or lovers!