How do you land a girl who is way out of your league? Do you tell her what you think she wants to hear? Do you fabricate just a few things about your bank account? Do you tell her your Ferrari is in the shop and that’s why you’re driving that Honda? You might think you’re pretty cool, but unless you’re good looking and rich or famous, you’re probably not going to land that hot chick you’ve had your eye on. Let’s be realistic, a woman wants to date a Prince Charming who has enough money to take care of her. #hollywoodlife
So why would a beautiful girl like me be so experienced in dating every Loser Larry out there? Men lie. #truestory
The challenge for women is to spot Failure Frank before we get too involved in a love affair. There are the obvious signs: a beat up old car, a crappy apartment and skipping out on the dinner bill. But a real Dead-Beat Dan is much more accomplished at hiding his inadequacies.
Obviously, a great way to find out about a potential date is to Google him, but what if his story checks out online? Any moron can build a website claiming to be a big shot commercial director or the owner of a company, but that doesn’t mean they have money in the bank to pay the mortgage. Women have to dig deeper in order to detect Malicious Matt.
I used to be with a Swindler Sam that had me convinced he worked in the movie industry, but at parties he needed me to introduce him to other industry people in hopes of actually landing a job. He was so delusional that after we stopped dating, he tried to “hire” my girlfriends to work for him as interns for his company that didn’t have any clients. Sorry dude, I already warned my friends … #sorrynotsorry
I once dated a Jobless Joe (ok, a bunch of them), but this one had me convinced he was a trust-fund baby. He went as far as to Photoshop fake bank statements and leave them lying around in my car so when I would find them I genuinely thought he was rich!
So how can women protect themselves from Mental Marvin? A dating prenup! As much as I’m a true Kanye West hater, the only somewhat intelligent (although grammatically incorrect) thing he ever said was,
If you ain’t no punk holla, “We want prenup”
“We want prenup!”
It’s something that you need to have.
If a woman is investing her time into a potential Captain Perfect, she should be compensated if it’s found later that he wasn’t who he said he was. She doesn’t necessarily need to be compensated with a cash prize; I’m not talking about professional women of the evening! For example, I find public humiliation to be entertaining enough for reimbursement of my time.
Future couples should hash out a dating prenup on the second or third date to avoid likely conflict in the event that one person in the relationship is being bamboozled by the other. A dating prenup can cover cheating, money, investment of time, sex, or anything else that comes to mind. And ladies don’t worry; if he wants to sleep with you he’ll probably sign almost anything.
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Keep up with my crazy life on Instagram (FeatherGirl77) cuz I want more followers. Twitter stalk me @jaimiebeebe if you love to hate me and for everyone still on Facebook I’m there too www.facebook.com/mancation.story
Jaimie Beebe is 36 years old, single, modern, and a Renaissance woman. She’s a writer, world traveler, Playboy model, amateur magician, casting director, producer, band manager, and occasional star fucker (only the really hot ones).
At 17 Jaimie left home to follow the jam band Phish, spent months at a Rainbow Gathering, protested logging in Oregon, and made the local Ohio papers getting arrested for organizing a topless march.
Slightly famous for rebuilding her Hollywood Hills home in a bikini after a contractor stole her money and left town, she created an online webisode “Bikini Builders” where followers could donate money, tools, and supplies to recoup her losses. Scantily clad babes in bikinis on camera can accomplish almost anything.
Jaimie holds a Master’s Degree in Music Management and a Bachelor’s Degree in Photography. Working in the entertainment industry she has produced commercials and music videos with A-list clients. Currently she juggles running her successful casting career (www.jaimiecasting.com) with writing her blogs, reviews, and a variety of pieces for different publications.
Mancation is her documentation of adventures in dating. Join Jaimie in the struggle to find mister right, or possibly just mister right now in a world of online dating, social media, and crazy Hollywood nights. See our hero navigate the deliriously deranged dating world, and explore all the available options to sniff out a worthy contender.
Feel free to follow along on Instagram: FeatherGirl77 and Twitter @jaimiebeebe as well as Facebook www.facebook.com/mancation.story for a daily dose of her dating disasters.