Mancation: Sweet Revenge

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Photo by Jaimie Beebe
Photo by Jaimie Beebe

Frank Sinatra said, “The best revenge is massive success.”

He’s right if you’re dealing with long-term revenge for long-term relationships. For example, since The Ex is gone I make 10 times the amount of money than when I was with him, I look much hotter now, have more friends, been traveling the world, and I’m finally happy. That’s long-term revenge!

But sometimes when exacting revenge, you want more immediate results. Here are a few ideas I’ve come across while researching this subject:

  1. Gain notoriety for writing a blog about your amazing life and all the rich and famous men you’re dating now. (I’m working on that one.)
  2. Sleep with his best friend. And then post it on all your social media accounts — with photos.
  3. Add them to (All the men I’ve dated are entering their names in the database right now to see if I’ve added them – haha!)
  4. Pretend you’re preggo! It’s old skool, but still a lot of fun.  For the added bonus find a pregnant friend to pee on the stick for you and post the positive photo on his Facebook page.
  5. Report them to the IRS. Just go to and fill out Form 3949-A.
  6. “Accidently” run into his new girlfriend and “sympathetically” ask her if his genital Herpes has cleared up.
  7. Photo provided by Jaimie Beebe
    Photo provided by Jaimie Beebe

    Wait ’til he’s out on the town and call the police to report a drunk driver, make sure you know his license plate as well as the make/model of his car. It’s especially vengeful if he’s already driving on a suspended license (yeah, we already know I date losers).

  8. Delete any of his social media that you have access to, and report the rest for abuse.
  9. Spell out a fun word on his front lawn… with Lye.  Use words like: cheater, asshole, loser, failure, psycho…
  10. Post craigslist ads in the “personals” section for him looking for a gang-bang (with other men). Include lots of photos, his phone number, and address.

Of course, I’ve dabbled in my own personal short-term revenge recently. Chesty needed to be messed with, just a little. (If you don’t know who Chesty is or why he’s an ass, please read Mancation #2: Chesty in El Salvador).

Oops. (Photo by Jaimie Beebe)
(Photo by Jaimie Beebe)

I knew Chesty would be back on the Island in January because he owns a business there. I also knew that he was going to bring his wife and three kids this time, so I sent a message to his friend letting him know that I missed Chesty so much and just had to come back to the island to see him. I knew word would get back to him and he would worry about getting caught in his cheating ways.

So I pretended I was flying in and said I was hanging out at our favorite spots. I even had a friend of mine that lives there tell Chesty that I was at the bar looking for him — that he just missed me. I would have loved to see the color drain from his face as his wife asked him who I am.  Ha ha!

Winners never cheat and cheaters never win!
Sorry, Chesty.