Babies are not an urgent priority
Listen to this articleI was visiting my cousin and her 18-month-old son last week when she asked me why my boyfriend and I don’t have a baby. Given the fact that this question came out of nowhere I was a little bit of a loss for words.
I think my first answer was just a laugh.
Then she asked again, “No, really, why don’t you?”
Well, there are a million answers to that, “We don’t want to” being the first one. There’s also “We want to be married first,” “We want to buy a house first,” “We don’t have enough money,” and “We aren’t ready yet.” But really the very first one is, we don’t want a baby.
I’m sure I’m going to be skewered alive by all moms who read this blog, but having a baby looks like it totally sucks. First you get sick, then you get fat, then a baby rips your insides apart, and then you have to feed, diaper, rock, repeat for two years. I already have issues with losing weight, I don’t need pregnancy to help me along. I also really, really enjoy sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays. I also like to go anywhere I want at any time I want.
I’m not really sure why everyone thinks that when you turn 30 you immediately start thinking about procreation. That’s not to say I haven’t thought about it, of course. When I see a cute baby, or a cute baby outfit, or a name I like, I think about what it would be like to have my own kid someday. Key word being: someday. Not today. I’m not trying to rush into having a kid – I’m still trying to get my own shit together.
When Awesome and I moved into our new apartment in August, we bought a Boston terrier puppy. I had wanted my own dog since I was 18 and I was so happy to finally get one. She is amazing – but she is also like what I would imagine having a baby would be like. I worry about what she is doing, I worry about her choking on bones, I have to make sure someone is there to take her to the bathroom and we actually can’t just do anything we want because we can’t leave her in the crate alone for too long. Of course, having a dog is only a fraction of what having a baby is like, I’m sure. It’s just our first taste of what it’s like to take care of another living thing.
I told my cousin not to worry, of course we want to have kids someday, but for now, we enjoy drinking a little too much at dinner and not caring, sleeping in on Sundays, and using our spare room as a computer/library instead of a nursery. But check in with us in three years … maybe by then we’ll be unselfish enough to think about babies.
Emily Campbell is a perpetually single, 20-something girl-around-town who loves Shakespeare, old movies, Natty Boh, and of course, long walks on the beach. A sales manager by day and freelance writer by night, she was recently forced into a life of involuntary celibacy when her last relationship fizzled out over a text message. She’s tired of settling for second – or tenth – best, and she’s ready to find Mr. Right. Or, Mr. Nearly Right. No one’s perfect…which she has learned the hard (but hilarious) way.