Letters to Jim: June 2024

Word on the street is that June is busting out all over. I am not sure what she is busting out of, but be on the lookout. In the meantime, let’s take a look at what is busting out from my fans’ brains as they ask me a variety of important questions about some of the most vital topics out there.

Dear Jim,
When you look in the mirror, do you see the same hypocrite I see whenever you write about the hypocrisy of the right? How come you only focus on their flaws and not the endless flaws of the left? At least conservatives want to save this nation from itself while people like you seem determined to bring it to its knees.
Sick of Your BS

Dear Sick,
I am sorry you feel ill and that it is the result of what you see as my hypocrisy. Since there are many bugs out there, I think you might want to make sure you have a bad case of Hypocrisy Fever and not something like Bird Flu or an STD.
The best way to determine this is for you to take your core temperature which will require you to remove your head from your ass and replace it with a rectal thermometer. Let me know the results.Your friend and personal physician for life.

Dear Jim,
What do you think is the biggest concern our nation faces over the coming four years no matter who wins the election in the fall? Certainly there has to be one issue both President Biden and Mr. Trump will have to deal with.
The Future is Now

Dear Future,
Most experts will list things like global warming, wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, or the on-going threat of China. However, I see matters differently. Based on recent social media posts, I think Americans are more concerned about saving TNT’s Basketball Tonight.
If the rumors are true, it looks as if its demise is imminent as NBC is set to replace TNT’s coverage of the NBA. There may never be another show as consistently funny, informative, and entertaining as what we get from Ernie, Chuck, Kenny, and Shaq. I am shocked that neither candidate has not focused on this issue. So far, the only candidate to say anything about it has been RFK Jr. who says it is the end result of cell phones and their harmful radiation.

Dear Jim,
What advice would you give to graduates at a commencement speech? Would you be political, philosophical, funny, or informative?
Recent Grad

Dear Recent Grad,
For kindergartners, I would rely on fart jokes and whoopee cushions because that will hold their attention. For fifth graders headed to middle school, I would rely on more fart jokes and whoopee cushions as well as jokes about their mamas. For 8th graders headed to high school, I would simply tell them the party is over and then fall back on fart jokes. With high school grads, I think I would mention not to believe a word that comes out of the mouth of their valedictorian and remind them that he or she farts just like an F student.

However, if I had the opportunity to speak to college graduates, I would advise them to make sure they have a significant other who is from another country so if that orange fart of a human known as Trump wins in November, they can easily move to another country and wait until his stench is long gone before coming back.

Dear Jim,
What was the worst thing you did while in public school? Did you get caught and if so, what lesson did you learn?
Busted By Mom and Dad

Dear Busted,
I am pretty sure those who remember me from my days in public school will back me up on this when I say it would be much easier to list my greatest accomplishment. I was not a stellar student and the list of things I did that should have landed me in far more trouble than I received is very long. However, my public school successes were few at best.

With that in mind, I managed to be viewed as a responsible, dependable, and hardworking hire by employers while being the exact opposite in far too many of my classes. I also am not directly responsible for the premature death of any of my teachers.

Dear Jim,
What do you see as the long term outcome of Trump’s legal troubles? Will he ever go to jail?
Worried

Dear Worried,
If Trump goes to jail, it will be to visit his sons or friends who serve as the fall guys for his crimes. After all, when a Supreme Court Justice flies a U.S. flag outside his home upside down and another refuses to recuse himself because his wife was involved in planning the January 6th capitol attack while also placing the blame on Brown vs. The Board of Education for why he supports gerrymandering in favor of Republicans, it’s hard to imagine the dude going to prison.

Dear Jim,
What is a good argument to make to Trump supporters who think he is the best person to solve our nation’s problems?
Need to Know Fast

Dear Need,
I would simply say that for a guy who brags a lot about all he does and how well he runs everything he takes on, he has a penchant for surrounding himself with a lot of inept people who commit crimes he knows nothing about.

Dear Jim,
What are your thoughts on the recent news that the NCAA schools are going to pay student athletes to play sports for their schools? Isn’t it long overdue?

About Time

Dear About Time,
Actually it is past time. The NCAA is dead. It is now just a familiar name used to market what is nothing more than minor league athletics. March Madness has long been nothing more than March Money Grabness. The football playoffs have been expanded to the point where the regular season is now meaningless and it will continue to expand and top out at 32 teams before you know it.

The NCAA has sold out to a parent company that will now take over the mess they have created. Mark my words, before this company is through, they will destroy what is left of college sports and make off with billions of dollars of profits just like firms do when they take on other sinking corporate ships.

Dear Jim,
Which would you rather be, a famous athlete, musician, actor, politician, or some other artist?
Fame Wonderer

Dear FW,
I am not impressed by fame when it comes to the categories you mention. I think for any living person to become famous, it requires they sell out. It means focusing on remaining popular so you remain in the public eye instead of following your true self.

We sensationalize fame way too much and do not cover what people lose in the process. Fame results in chasing money and sacrificing principles while remaining a slave to the court of public opinion.

Being famous is not being free. Artists and athletes who are free are the people who follow their passions instead of the polls or comments on social media. They listen to their hearts and remain true to themselves instead of forgetting who they are or where they came from.

Life in the shadows or background is less stressful and offers people the chance to grow more as individuals without having the stress of being pulled by people looking to profit off you.

Dear Jim,
Why did Joe Biden challenge Donald Trump to early debates? Is he crazy?
Go Trump

Dear Go Eff Yourself,
Considering Trump lost the debates four years ago, has to lie about his crowd sizes, is facing more trials ahead and is short on cash, I would say Joe is doing him a favor. Joe knows he kicked Trump’s butt in the 2020 debates and will do the same again this year.

My prediction is that when Trump gets his large orange ass handed to him in the opening debate, he will cry that it was rigged and drop out of any future debates.

Dear Jim,
At what point did wokeness take over the left and ruin life for the right? It seems like this is all the fault of our reliance on phones and social media to direct our thought process. Isn’t it about time this all ends?
Right and Proud

Dear R and P,
You are missing something about wokeness and what you see as its brief but damaging history. What is woke today was PC 30 years ago and will be something else in another three decades. While the term is associated with the left, it is not all that different from what the right does. The left might rephrase a word like homeless and refer to it as unhoused because in their minds it is a kinder and gentler term (less offensive), but it is the right that steals words like American or freedom and redefines them to the point they are nothing like their original meaning.

Stealing, the last time I checked, is a crime, something the leader of the right is used to committing which might explain why the GOP insists on stealing words (and the fact most are too stupid to invent new words).

Wokeness, or Political Correctness, while frustrating, is designed to make us more aware of those less privileged. If not for it, most of us would not be offended by the N word which was commonly used by adults when I was growing up.

A segment of every generation (liberals) will come up with new terminology aimed at reminding old farts like me that our ways are no longer acceptable. They are balanced by another segment (conservatives) who have refused to change and long for the good old days because they hate knowing their time here is growing shorter each day.

Dear Jim,
I am a boomer like you are. Do you feel the need to address younger people by pronouns other than he or she?  I don’t understand what is happening to this society.
Help Me

Dear Help,
I place no expectation on myself to refer to someone by another pronoun. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, there is no way it is a moose. The same applies to humans.

Scientifically speaking, we can easily identify someone as male or female so there is nothing wrong in making the assumption you are talking to one or the other. In the 70’s and 80’s, I remember being chastised by some women for not addressing them as Ms. To make matters worse, whenever I did use the term Ms., I was often rudely corrected and told they were a Miss or Mrs. (This is when men realized they could never make a woman happy). I was raised to think only in terms of Miss or Mrs. The same holds true with gender.

It does not bother me if someone identifies by something other than a he or she. However, if they, them or whoever wants to be identified how they see themselves, wear a nametag. Humans are not mind readers and should not be expected to know how a person identifies.

Besides, just because you identify as something, it doesn’t make you that in my eyes. Have you ever seen an old person trying to dress like they are someone much younger? They may see themself as young, but the rest of us see him as a fool. I can insist you call me Doctor because that is how I see myself, but it doesn’t mean I am one.

Society is constantly changing, and the boomer generation is no longer the agents of change. We have a hard enough time keeping up with technology and global warming. Younger people would be wise to learn this and show us the same patience we were taught to show our grandparents.

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There you have it. Another month of letters. Just know that before the month ends, our daylight will begin to shorten, just like my fuse.