While driving to work this morning, I was listening to a radio DJ lament the fact that he can’t join the match-making app Tinder because he is married. He didn’t want to cheat on his wife, he was just making a comment about how he thinks it would be entertaining, and he didn’t get a chance to use it since he and his wife had been married for so long. Another DJ made a comment that she hated dating and was happy to be married, and scolded him for even mentioning it.
Being so close to getting married myself, I couldn’t really believe what I was hearing. My life before meeting my fiancé was interesting, but lonely. Dating was fun when I was in my early 20s, but was more of a chore once I hit 27. Some of my earlier blogs detailed some of the horrific dates I experienced – see “Porn King” – and my struggle to figure out online dating. It didn’t help that all my friends around me were getting married – some were even having kids – and I wanted that for myself.
I can honestly say that I have never once wished to be single once Awesome and I had solidified our relationship. I guess I really was ready for a relationship at that point and I committed myself completely and fully to him. I know everyone always says the grass is always greener on the other side, but once I got to the “other side” of coupledom, the grass was green enough for me that I wanted to stay there forever.
I don’t understand the obsession that we have with always wanting more and never being satisfied with what we have. An unemployed person laments not having a job, but once he gets one, he complains about it the entire time. A couple buys their first home and within six months are saving for a bigger, more modern one. And a (supposedly) happily married radio DJ comments publicly that sometimes he misses being single.
Why can’t we be happy and grateful with what we already have? And if we aren’t, why are we so content to complain instead of doing something about it? Right now, I’m pretty happy with my life. My job is going well, Awesome and I are engaged and planning our wedding, my family life is great. I don’t have much to complain about – maybe that’s why I’ve been stressing out about our wedding so much – all my energy has to go somewhere!
If you are unhappy with your life, please look within yourself and try to figure out what is missing. Then, instead of complaining about it, or wondering what it would be like if your life was different, go out and do something about it! Take a class, learn a new language, start exercising, join a club, do anything that will help you enrich your life. You never know what direction it may take you.
Emily Campbell is a perpetually single, 20-something girl-around-town who loves Shakespeare, old movies, Natty Boh, and of course, long walks on the beach. A sales manager by day and freelance writer by night, she was recently forced into a life of involuntary celibacy when her last relationship fizzled out over a text message. She’s tired of settling for second – or tenth – best, and she’s ready to find Mr. Right. Or, Mr. Nearly Right. No one’s perfect…which she has learned the hard (but hilarious) way.