Certain people have a tendency go back and forth after a break up, not really sure if they’re ready to finally pull the plug.
I need to be honest with my dear, loyal readers; I went back to okcupid. I’m not sure why. I don’t want to blame John Cusack for not tweeting me yet … But I was feeling lonely and okcupid was there; it just happened. I’ve been reading profiles and perusing pictures in hopes that some of those old feelings would come back.
I had renewed hope in this relationship as I typed in my old password, but that was soon diminished when I read the messages from all the Meandering Mathews that had arrived in my absence.
Obviously I’m not a dating expert (hence Mancation) but I do know a few things about what women like, and the shitty pick up lines men use.
How is it that a 28-year old is a “younger man” to a 36-year old woman? Next time I meet a guy in his 40’s I’m going to ask him if he’s into younger women and then tell him I’m 36. Also, when a “younger guy” asks if I’m open to “a fun and casual,” I can only assume he wants to have a fun wedding and some casual children …
I know it’s hard to come up with a great line on okcupid, so some guys go for the simple approach: your name and something about yourself:
“Hi! Nice to meet you.”
“My name is Fabulous Fred and I have 6 kids.”
“Hey, how’s your weekend?”
“I’m Buzzkill Barry and I drive a Lamborghini.”
But “I am a firefighter with long hair” only makes me want to hash tag your ass #longhairdontcare
The wrong end of the spectrum from the simple approach is the “deep thinker”. Honestly, I’m picking dates based on their height and number of tattoos; the depths of my soul would drown in a coffee cup. And the guy that wants me to hold him the way I hold my dogs has his own set of issues.
I realize it’s the age of technology and texting, but when writing a note to a woman you don’t know, certain grammatical rules should still apply. “u” is actually spelled “you.” most people capitalize the beginning of a sentence and speling errers can easily b corectted using spel chek. Seriously, put some effort into it!
And guys, your selfies are horrible enough, but a photo with a strange or dead animal is wrong on every level. Don’t do it.
Jaimie Beebe is 36 years old, single, modern, and a Renaissance woman. She’s a writer, world traveler, Playboy model, amateur magician, casting director, producer, band manager, and occasional star fucker (only the really hot ones).
At 17 Jaimie left home to follow the jam band Phish, spent months at a Rainbow Gathering, protested logging in Oregon, and made the local Ohio papers getting arrested for organizing a topless march.
Slightly famous for rebuilding her Hollywood Hills home in a bikini after a contractor stole her money and left town, she created an online webisode “Bikini Builders” where followers could donate money, tools, and supplies to recoup her losses. Scantily clad babes in bikinis on camera can accomplish almost anything.
Jaimie holds a Master’s Degree in Music Management and a Bachelor’s Degree in Photography. Working in the entertainment industry she has produced commercials and music videos with A-list clients. Currently she juggles running her successful casting career (www.jaimiecasting.com) with writing her blogs, reviews, and a variety of pieces for different publications.
Mancation is her documentation of adventures in dating. Join Jaimie in the struggle to find mister right, or possibly just mister right now in a world of online dating, social media, and crazy Hollywood nights. See our hero navigate the deliriously deranged dating world, and explore all the available options to sniff out a worthy contender.
Feel free to follow along on Instagram: FeatherGirl77 and Twitter @jaimiebeebe as well as Facebook www.facebook.com/mancation.story for a daily dose of her dating disasters.